Hi Michelle,

I just began the challenge on April 7 and when I saw this I was glad to read it.  I am in the beginning of the challenge but I'm sad to say, I have been one who has tried the challenge a couple of times without total success.  Not in anyway due to the program.  I did experience changes in my body and weight and who knows what I might have accomplished had I the staying power to see it through.  But that's the past.  As i looked to begin a new program and did my research, I kept coming back to the challenge.  I liked the challenge, I saw results and know that it works.  Like you, I still have the first book and the journal and will follow that for the most part.  I do understand the need to look at the current material as advances are always made.  By utilizing the site and the new material, I will incorporate the new info into my routine.  I have always tried to make sure that my program fits me because at the end of the 12 weeks, I want a life change, not just weight loss as they do go hand in hand.

My concern is that I am now 52, so reading your entry today was good for me.  I do have concerns about whether my body can do what I need it to do.  I am blessed with a body that will respond, I just don't want to be a quitter this time.  So, thank you for this entry and I hope you will respond.  I took my first biggest step ever.  I've had my before pictures taken during other attempts at the challenge, this time, I've actually held today's newspaper.  This may be a small step, but it's a big deal to me.  Again thank you and I'll look for words of encouragement. 

WandaM I believe that you will be very pleasantly surprised at how your 52 year old body will respond.  Just clear your mind of what others think about what you are doing and get on with it.  I'm a firm believer in the power of the positive mindset and that you can do anything you set your mind to.  There are several ladies here that have already blazed the path right through 50 so I know that it can be done.  Come to the site often for inspiration and support, because you will certainly find it!!

Welcome back!

Someone was looking for this thread so I am posting on here to throw it to the top. :-)

I can't tell you how blown away I have been by the single greatest realization of my life, and it is because of my last 'speed bump', when I quit the challenge back in March, that led me to this enlightening moment!  And then, reading this thread today for the first time, I realized that my fears were all about the bridge across the abyss being rickety and impassible!  Having taken the greatest number of steps towards good eating habits and healthy physical activity, I realize the bridge is as strong as my progress.  By that I mean that each day I conquer my fear of failing the bridge becomes a little more sturdy underfoot.

I quit smoking a year and a half ago, and I remember thinking to myself, "Why was it so easy this time when I completely failed the past 7 or 8 times?"  The answer finally came to me this past week, strangely enough while I was thinking about my progress in the 12 week challenge.  Each time I failed to succeed taught me something about conquering fear, and it wasn't until I had conquered enough of my fears that I was finally able to break free.  This challenge, my process, is the same thing.  I have struggled my entire life with my weight and never did learn how to successfully control it, not through a single one of my "failed" diet and exercise attempts, UNTIL NOW!  

I'm not saying I won't run up against other stumbling blocks, or find other challenges that make this an ongoing learning process, but I think I've finally conquered enough of my fears about failing, about stumbling, about looking goofy in the gym, about people question why the fat lady is bringing 3 meals to work every day, about never being able to look the way I want to look and feel the way I want to feel, and about trusting myself to make it through.  

I agree with what Michelle said.  This place is about reciprocation, and you should all know there are folks out here who read your process and it helps them understand that it's okay to stumble, it's okay to be scared, and there isn't a single thought or step they're going to take that someone before them has not tackled.  They may not have written about it, but they're here.  So please, keep the thoughts flowing and know that you inspire someone, whether they say so or not.

And Michelle, thank you for your post and your story.  You more than most have inspired me, because you make me see that facing 3 or more BFL challenges is not the daunting task it appears to be.  I almost see it as scenery out the window of a lifelong journey.  Some people will see the BFL vista for 12 weeks on their journey through life.  Me and others like me who need to lose 75+ lbs, we'll just have a BFL vista for 24, 36, or 48 weeks of our journey.  And, for some, that view will be breathtaking enough they'll never choose to let their path leave that environment.  =o)

Michele (aka Mo)  C1W2D13

Thank you, Michelle, for such inspiring words.  You put into text what I have been thinking on many occasions lately, especially about what is often a controversy over healthy fats, bananas (just ate one while I was reading!), the "original list" vs. the updated one, and the fact that the new website is often being used much the same as the old guestbook but it has the potential to be so much more.

I sit here in tears, just a little, because my abyss is staring me straight in the face this week.  I'm on C?W4D2 and just about this week is when I have quit so many times that I can't write a number next to "C" because I've lost count.  My LBWO awaits me and I'm feeling a little stalled at the moment for some reason.

I am digging deep to figure out how to keep the momentum going this week and on.  I am starting to feel a little bit of that nagging feeling of "how am I going to make it to Week 12?" BUT I do want it more than ever before, that is for certain.  And I have the momentum of having lost 9 lbs. so far......never did that in the past because I wasn't eating as clean as I have this time.  

I will be spending a lot of time looking for answers this week, as I try to push past this tough time and hopefully find myself on the other side of that abyss that thus far I have not been able to cross!   This website, and especially posts like yours, are my links to success.  THANK YOU!!

As BFLMike has said in the past "Act your way to better thinking".  

Some times there just isn't any momentum to carry us.  It's when that momentum stalls that we have to take that personal step to commit to pushing the momentum until it's rolling again.  

What I do and many others have done is go to the gym or where ever our workouts are done and we just do them.  

Not because we want to, or because we have to, but simply because we must because we committed to ourselves to honor our self promise.  

You can do this and pass this haunting threshold once and for all...now go about doing it and regret for not having done it will never haunt you again my friend.

I had a great workout at the gym tonight.  I could see some new definition in my calves as I was lifting that simply has never been there before.  Damn, that feels good!

I think I get sad, like earlier tonight, when I start to feel myself slipping...like feeling the temptation to eat something bad or pondering skipping the workout....it always starts with one compromise and then before you know it  I am headed down the slippery slope.  I get scared and lose faith in myself, questioning my will to continue.  

Self honesty is a big part of it....I have said so many times before that I am just taking a break and then that break turns into a couple of weeks and it's all over.  There are no breaks (except free days, once a week, which is a pretty generous break if you think about it!).  That sounds ridiculous to me now, but I accepted it from myself in the past.  No more.

I want to lose 20 pounds this challenge but more than that I want to finish this challenge....even if I fall short of my specific weight-loss goals.  I may not become an "after" in one challenge, but I will finish this challenge if it kills me.

It SO helps to think about these feelings and write them down or share them.  Thanks for listening!  I feel honored to have received advice from a Champion!

Why thank you CC!!  

CC-Do write what you are feeling in a journal, notebook, whatever...it will help you focus on what you truly want. If you truly want to lose 20# and finish this challenge, then make it happen...YOU have that power.  Come to this site when you are feeling sad, it will (in my opinion) help with your mindset and get you on that path to conquer your goals!

Remember how you felt after that workout and trust me you will feel even BETTER during that 12th week and beyond!! :) Take care and keep us posted! :)

Michelle Champ -

I was so excited to read your first post of this thread...are you saying you are embracing the food list from this site?  I will so enjoy half a banana with my cottage cheese!  I will love a turkey *** sandwich on whole wheat bread!  Granted I will not eat bread every day, but it is a nice option.  I did interpret your musings, correctly, right?  You are confident that the more "liberal" list on the site will not sabotage weight loss efforts?  Very exciting!  Next week I will start C2, and I am going to use the list from the site.  AND....I will not "tweak" the workouts!!  C2 here I come!

Thanks for the incredible post!  Julie (inVA)

Go Julie Go!! Sounds like you are ready!  

For bread I use those sandwich thins made by Orroweat. Only 100 calories each; found them at Wal-Mart. I use them maybe twice a week for lunches.

Michele (MO),

You can do this!  I LOVED YOUR POST.  You must be a writer of sorts, because the pictures you paint with words are so vivid!  I loved the part about the scenery out the window, and our BFL vista.  Isn't it

B-E-A-U-tiful!!  See, I am NOT a writer, so I have to use references from movies (Bruce Almighty).

I loved where you talked about failures, that eventually gave you all the knowledge and courage to move on to try again, and succeed!!   What a great way to look at it.  That with every "failure", there are lessons learned, and courage that grows within us to finally conquer our fear.

You posted on day 13 of your challenge.  Now you are day 18.  I bet you are even stronger today!

Keep conquering those fears!  Good luck, and keep us posted on your progress!  We are all in this together.

Julie(inVA)

Thanks Debbie, I am going to look into that bread.  They are round, right?  Does it fall under or about 20gms carb?  Can't wait!  Julie

Julie-yes within carb range...22g carb, 5g protein and 5g fiber...whole wheat to boot! I love em! :) Yes, they are round...  Going to fix some of those protein/cottage cheese pancakes this weekend I think; good for you feeding your kids the good stuff during testing week! Some parents don't have a clue as to how diet and exercise affect their kids' brains...So good job, Julie!! :)

Thank you for the incredibly generous words, Julie!  I am not a writer, though I do enjoy writing when I can find the time.  I suppose I just gush with ideas and want to make sure the world understands them, hence the detailed descriptions!  LOL   I think I worry I am not able to make myself clear, so overkill becomes my mantra.  

I am definitely learning more and more with each day, though my job is making every effort to impose on my ability to meet each days challenges.  That's alright though, the job can't win forever, so I'll let it have yesterday and today, and work out with all I've got on what I had planned to use as a free day ;o)  

I plan to continue posting as I continue on this journey, and I'm sure I'll keep meeting wonderful people as I go.  Hopefully we can continue to inspire each other and all be successful!!

Mo