What it takes to do BFL... to all who need help

  • So, you have made your mind to change your lifestyle. Good choice! But who said the road was going to be easy? If everything in life was easy we would never feel the sense of accomplishment. We would never feel like conquerers. Think about it. You would never grow past your comfort zone. The EASY part is getting started. But too many throw in the towel after week one or two. But it is not just because this program is hard. I am writing with much affection towards any who need motivation to keep going.

    I especially want to encourage our friends going through Challenge 1. Ask yourself WHY you are doing this. Hopefully you are sick and tired of where you are. Because if you aren't sick and tired enough, this will be too hard to do. Put the two on a scale: Your current situation (maybe poor health, maybe unfit, maybe weight gain) and on the other side the discipline it takes to change your lifestyle. Which weighs heavier to you that you can not bear it any longer? Hopefully it is harder to stay where you are at. Because if you are still content with where you are at physically, this program WILL be too hard to bear any longer. Yes, it is hard to change the way we eat and hard to work out and hard to be disciplined. But like a friend put it: "What is the alternative"? Continue with heart problems? Continue to be tired and unfit? Continue to be going up in weight? But I noticed from experience in my career in sales that most people want to start this new career because they want the outcome! They heard about the great results and read other people's success stories and they want it! But they expected it to be easy. When they hit a bump in the road, they give up. Ask yourself, are you a quitter? NO, you are NOT!  You may have given up on other things before in life. You may have set New Year resolutions every year and forgot about them the second week of January. But today you can change your MINDSET. This IS about mindset. And we have to put aside the quitter mindset. 

    This is about attitude. It is about a "never give up" attitude. It's about having a positive attitude.  It's takes discipline. It's takes digging deep to bring out something you didn't know was inside of you. It's about climbing. It's about conquering the difficulties that have kept you down. You can't do this without accountability. You also need an extra dose of "being mad at...." (fill in the blanks, but not mad at someone else. I mean a circumstance). It takes determination! It takes competing with your own best record. Maybe I am competitive anyway, but in competition we have to be able to compete with ourselves. Beat our best continually otherwise there is NO growth. Who cares where others are at. Good for them, but where are we at? Are we growing? So, anyway... I felt like preaching and hugging on some today. It's not about screaming "lets do thiiiiis" or "I decided to start todaaaaaaay" etc. Rather, scream all the way to the gym and actually GET IT DONE! I have some friends including me that have had set backs during C1. Either little results or injuries or other difficulties. BUT THEY DID IT ANYWAY and have moved on to Challenge 2, 3, 4. And so can YOU! Get the attitude together and kick some rear today! 

    We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us - Efe 4:13.  We are more then conquerors through Him who loved us  - Rom 8:37    Feel the loving hug. 

    ps. if you had a setback and continued anyway... please encourage others here. 

    SorayaRosaria

  • Very well said!!

  • Thank you so much for that....that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now...I am starting today, and starting is the easy bit. I especially liked your comment about 'if you are content with where you are at physically....'. I realized as I read that that I have often gotten to a point where I have justified my weight and shape, and really been 'content' to let things roll and stay the same. This time something inside has to change, i have to pray for the strength to see this through....and not 'be content'.

  • You are right, LCH... I have done that for a long time after my first Challenge 11 years ago. I got so content that eventhough my belly was growing slowly over the years, I could always SUCK IT IN! And that is how I managed the look. No matter what I wore, I sucked in my tummy all day long! Now, talk about being content!! But then I had to get MAD! Mad I let that belly go. You can see the difference on my before and after pix on my profile. Although I still am working on getting body fat down, I am glad I woke up and became mad enough. And now I continue to be mad at the rest of fat that I still see.

    I wanted to share today about set backs too. Because life has its way of throwing a curve ball at us. Sandy Hurricane is a (very sad) example. These are things that take you out of your routine, you have no control anymore of things that happen and it feels like you are never going to get on track again. But it is the same for a loss of a job, a broken relationship, receiving any bad news that shakes you for days or weeks, divorce, death of a loved one... anything like that can derail you ....momentarily. It is quite ok to take our time. We have to get our emotions and circumstances back together. But the problem is when THE BREAK BECOMES THE NORM and there we go again becoming content. And worse, many times nobody knows of the goals you have set for yourself (again I am comparing BFL with any other area of life where much persistence, determination and dedication is needed to reach goals and for me I have seen this happen over and over in business too in which I have been a coach) and because no one is there to hold you accountable, before you know it you have let your dream and your goals die altogether and you say "no one knows anyway that I 'failed'".

    1. Very important to share your goal and dream loudly with anyone who cares very much about you who can support you. Many times support does not come from those the closest to you, but find anyone who will. I have found amazing support here on this site and on MyFitnessPal.

    2. Give youself time to get yourself back together when you are derailed unexpectedly (in the case of an injury also like I experienced towards the end of my previous challenge), but share with your support system that you are taking a SHORT time (depending on the case) but that you WILL get back on track. If not... before you know it a week goes by, then a month, then a quarter, then a whole year... sometimes years (like after I did the first challenge 11 years ago and then life happened) and then you are worse off then when you had the intention to start in the first place.

    SorayaRosaria

  • This is a great post!  Thank you SorayaRosaria!

    I can really relate to what you posted yesterday about letting your dreams and goals die because "no one knows anyway that I failed."  I am determined this time not to fail; to keep persisting and be dedicated to changing my body for life. So far, it is working.  I have not given up and I am nearly to week 6.  This is huge for me - normally I give up after two weeks or so.  This program is so great!

    Thanks again for a great inspirational post!

  • Laura2012, you are a GREAT example that anyone can reach the point of being mad enough to make the necesarry changes. I KNOW you will finish strong this time because something has changed inside of you. Your will was stronger this time than circumstances. There are many reasons why we "fail" the fist time: maybe no support, maybe too content to change, maybe life happened, maybe the time just wasn't right.... It doesn't matter, the fact is that you WOKE UP!! haha, I love it! Keep dreaming and setting goals. I can't wait to see your photos when you are done! I will cheer for you.

    SorayaRosaria

  • About MOTIVATION and goal setting... I wanted to apply a personal experience to BFL. Whenever there are things we want to achieve, whenever it is about becoming successful at something, we MUST set goals, because those goals can fuel us with motivation so we keep going. Without goals you don't even know what you are doing or where you are going. There are positive motivators and negative motivators. As John Maxwell (mentor in leadership) tells in his story, he didn't concern himself much with eating healthy until the day the Dr. gave him bad news about his health. He said for the first time he became motivated to eat healthy, even though that was a negative motivator. Hey, he GOT motivated. (This is the same story of many on here and each one got motivated to start BFL because of health issues). On positive motivation, in my personal experience this is how I motivated myself:  I was able to earn a total of 3 career cars in 5 years by taking a picture of myself next to that car I wanted to earn. I put that picture in a place I could see it regularly and keep focusing on the necessary work to reach that goal. And reach it I did! 3 times in a row. The same with any other prize I earned along the way. So, I thought... this motivation and goal setting thing applies to anything we want to accomplish in life! Whether we are motivated negatively or positively, the thing is we have to get motivated to finish strong. And talking about taking a picture...we do this anyway in BFL. There are two more ways for me to use a picture in BFL to motivate me. Either positively or negatively. But neither of these following examples would be pictures to share on this site, just for your own reference.  First the negative: If you have for example a lot of fat at the midsection and you have a muffin top when you wear jeans... take a close up picture of that midsection showing off that muffin top! Blow that baby up and tape it on your bedroom wall or on your bathroom mirror where only you see it every morning when you wake up! And when you go "UUUGHHHH", say out loud: "And this is why I am driving my behind to the gym today!" Because you don't want to continue to BE that person on the wall! (To make it even more scarier, take the picture with NO clothes on! But please, keep this picture in a secret place where no one will EVER see it!!! It is only meant for YOU to motivate you to change! Don't go thinking "Soraya promotes nude pix", haha). This would motivate me quickly to re-invent my body! Don't ya think? Next time I wanted to binge I would remember that sight! OK, If you didn't like the idea of negative motivation, let's move on with an example of  positive motivation: this one we do often also in my business experience (except in business attire). Find a picture (ladies) of a beautiful shaped slender woman from a magazine, maybe in a swim suit. Cut her face out and put your own face on her neck! (Guys, find a picture of a buff dude showing off his 6-pack abs and like wise cut his face out and put your own face on top of the neck) Tape this picture in your bedroom and keep looking at it everyday, dreaming of what you will look like at the end of the 12 week challenge (or after the 2nd, 3rd or 4th challenge). And that has now become your goal! To reinvent your body according to what you see in that picture on the wall. What a motivation! Ok, maybe you say "this is so stupid, I don't need to take such pictures!". You're right, you don't have to. Do what works for you. But DO it! For me, It works, friends! That's what I did with the cars  and other prizes I earned and it kept me very motivated! Maybe I am just a visual person. I could see it was MINE soon and kept working for it.

    Philipians 3:13 says something important about reaching goals and could even be applied to having 'failed' before:

    "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead". Needless to say... I am not yet where I want to be, but I have a new lifestyle that consists of working out daily and loving it and eating the BFL way.

    SorayaRosaria

  • Yes, goals and pictures really do help!  I think that has been one of the major keys for me during this challenge. I took "before" pictures and carry one around with me in my BFL Success Journal (I hope it never falls out while I'm at the gym haha!).  I also have pictures of the kind of body I want on my wall that I look at each morning and night.  Another, somewhat silly, thing I did when I first started was to take my real before pictures and then used MS Paint (since I don't have photoshop or anything fancy) to "slim" myself down.  I could really imagine what I'd look like in 12 weeks!  I can't wait to compare those edited pictures with my actual "after" photos and see how close they are.

    I am really enjoying your posts SorayaRosaria! Thanks so much for the motivation!!

  • Ok, there are days we have ZERO motivation. We are humans. That is when we need someone to kick us in the behind! Well, today was one of those days for me. I don't like working out later in the day because after I have been busy all day I am tired and needless to say I don't have the energy to go lift . Besides, despite other programs not requiring you to workout in a fasted state, I like that idea about BFL and that also adds to my preference of working out first thing in the morning. But I have switched some things around in C-2 and one of those include lifting in the afternoons 3X a week. Most days I am fine with it so far. But today the idea wasn't cool!!!! I had run several errands, got home and still had to prepare dinner and on top of it, I was really into listening to the live coverage on the election results. The later it got, the more I felt I needed a nap before cooking for the family, let alone go to gym. Seriously... I was hoping my husband, who was frustratedly working on the computer himself to fix it, would tell me lets forget about the gym today. So I napped for about 15 minutes and after I woke up I sank into the sofa, still hoping we could just stay home. After asking him if he rather stay home he said he had missed working out two days already (NOT ME!) and he needs to go. I answered "Then carryyyy me out of heeeeeere". He chuckled.  A few minutes later I asked again if we should stay home (I am sure I made the puppy dog face) and he again said "no, we really need to go". And that is how I ended up going to the gym today. And I worked hard and was happy in the end  I did. So friends... If you lack motivation some days, YOU ARE NORMAL. Just find someone who cares and tell them to kick your buttocks even though you hope they leave you alone! Let them carry you out of your comfort zone.

    SorayaRosaria

  • DEALING WITH FOOD TEMPTATIONS... I just remembered a technique I used all Challenge One for staying away from unauthorized foods. I KNOW we all have things we crave and worse yet, when you are the only one staying away from them and the rest of the family is not in the challenge with you. Pizzas, cakes and other desserts, real good homemade meals, chips and dip and the list goes on. I have decided soooo firmly that I will stick to my meal plan all week knowing that Sunday I could enjoy all those things. SO, each time there was something at home that I really wanted to enjoy and was afraid I would miss out, I would serve myself a nice portion on a plate, saran wrap it and stick it in the FREEZER! Family knows it is Mami's!!! Don't touch!!! Hey, Sunday is MY day and when everyone else had their feast during the week I bring out the goodies!!!! I have never felt deprived during challenge one. In fact when my kids get to eat something real nice like ice cream and they forget and start offering me, they quickly say "oh, never mind, it's not Sunday". And I still do this now in challenge two. I don't deprive myself, I just eat it later on Sunday. Hope it helps someone who feels sad they can't have stuff. Your day will come and it is Sunday. In fact tomorrow is Sunday!!!

    SorayaRosaria

  • Thank you for all your encouragement. I really needed it. I blew my first week of my 12 week challenge. Only one person has joined me and she never posts anything. My butt is sore from the work out yesterday and then getting on the scale and seeing the numbers up 3 pounds was crushing. I hope it is muscle and not more fat. One of my sons who does not need to lose any weight lost 15 pounds this last week just jogging and playing tennis. I have been busting my butt and gained 3 pounds. Crying? Yes.

  • Hey freen, I'm with you on the weight increase, but a lot comes down to when you weigh yourself, first thing in the morning is always key...and not too soon after you free day either, as that made me all kinds of depressed the other day!  But you are building a BASE for weight loss.  Gain a little bit now, lose heaps later :)

  • NO ONE WALKED WITH ME...

    @Freenstrong, here I am sending you a hug of encouragement. I see no one joined you when you started your Challenge. I joined a large group on July 23rd who started that week with loud cheering! I thought how awesome to have so many motivated people starting and finishing together and I can really use the connection to keep me moving forward. Freenstrong, after about week and a half I was left posting BY MYSELF! haha. So much for starting off with a large and cheering group! I want to ask you WHOM are you doing this challenge for? ;-) I know you are doing this for YOU, regardless of no one walking with you. I want you to know that in every new endeavor, for every 10 people who join, only 2 are going to finish. The rest will fall off. This is not only so in BFL. If we are going to depend on other's commitment to follow through ourselves, we will fall off together with them. I say this carefully knowing that not everyone falls off due to lack of commitment, sometimes life happens and is out of our control, but this is only in a very few cases. The rest didn't feel a heavy enough reason why make the commitment in the first place. You however, WILL benefit as you continue and I want to reassure you that you will be very proud of yourself when you come out on the other end. And together with MrCynical I want to say weigh yourself AM before eating, but especially don't weigh yourself often. Maybe once or twice a month? That way you will be pleasantly surprised when you do. On being sore, it seems like I never felt a lack of soreness the whole 12 weeks, but I'll take the soreness together with the great results I had. So welcome the soreness as a sign of progress, darling. Be blessed and be hugged again.

    SorayaRosaria

  • ok wow! i just decided tonight to take this challenge! signed up for it and now i have the sign up packet and what not. however im already a tad unsure that i will finish. so i figured i would get on here to try to get encouraged before day 1. i find much encoragement in your posts SorayaRosaria! this whole evening i have been camping out in the past and feeling bad about it. but o yes, like the word says, i must forget what is behind and press on ahead!!!

    i wanted to keep this challenge on the down low bc i have been up and down like a yo yo over the pass 7 years. i completed the challange (unofficially) 10 years ago and had amazing success. however, 4 children later, i seem to have a hard time finding my stride. BUT i do know its possible!!  i am so blessed to have a husband supporting me and doing his part to help me get it done, its just me that has to be convinced on the why. a wise man once said, "if there is a big enough why, you will figure out the how"          

  • INTERESTED VS. COMMITTED

    Hey, Cassandra, great words of wisdom. I know you will do this and figure out the 'how'.

    As I woke this morning, this message was in my mind to share...What is the difference between being interested in something or someone and being committed to something or someone. Let's use this example, no one marries somebody just because they are interested in him or her. Rather, when you marry somebody it is out of commitment to that person. Being interested in that person only sees all the positives, but maybe later when the negatives show up, you loose that interest. Commitment on the other hand, recognizes the negatives together with the positives but chooses to be committed anyway. Same with starting BFL. Are we interested in losing weight not realizing this is a tough road? Or are we committed to losing weight even though it is hard to work on it? Most everybody you know, is interested in losing weight and get fitter. You know they know exactly what to do. But they are only interested. Just like some people are interested in learning to play the guitar, or learning to do ballet. It is an honest interest. I have a few things I was interested in when I was a teenager. I was interested in learning to play the piano. But boy! When I had to go to piano class after school when I really wanted to nap instead or when I felt overwhelmed by reading music and it seemed like Chinese to me, I lost that interest within the first month! Also I was interested in learning to sew. So my mom paid for a sewing class for me. She was a great seamstress so I thought I could be one too. But then when the class turned out to be more complicated then I thought, I dropped out.  But when you are committed, you already measured the toughness that goes with the challenge, and you decide to take it anyway. Interest says: "that would be nice, it would be so cool, it would be a really great idea". Commitment on the other hand says "I will do it no matter what. I know this will be tough, but I will reach my goal, it is either do or die". I believe when we were younger, it happened more often that we dropped out of things because we hadn't learned yet how to commit. But when we matured, we learned that commitment goes beyond just getting excited about a new idea. Interest starts off with a loud cheer, but comes off that excitement cloud as quickly too. Commitment keeps going long after there is no more excitement to cheer about.

    So, my friends. You already got started, now get committed. You want this, you need this and you know it. Nobody will make the commitment for you, only you can do that. Now get it done! In the end, when interest fails, it says: "I wish I did". But commitment will finish strong and say "I'm glad I did". On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to your new BFL challenge? Time to answer the question. Anything below 6-7 is just an interest.

    SorayaRosaria