My wife is DISCOURAGED - Help?

  • Hey everyone. My wife and I have been doing the challenge together so she's also in Week 8. She's seen great results so far, she's lost 7 lbs, 5% body fat, 2 inches off her waist and 3 inches off her hips! I'm so proud of her and she looks amazing.  So here's where the difficult part comes in...

    4 weeks ago she started school. So she goes to school in the morning until 1:00 pm, then she has to go to work after that and usually gets home around 7:00 in the evening. So for these last few weeks, it's becoming harder and harder for her to continue putting 100% into her workouts and now she's feeling discouraged. She broke down a little tonight saying she LOVES BFL and wants to love her time working out, but since she's started this new mega-busy schedule, it's become really hard for her. She's still doing her workouts, but in her words, half-heartedly, and that discourages her even more. She's still eating clean but just feels discouraged about not being able to enjoy working out and giving it her all.

    She asked me to post and thought maybe some of the ladies might be able to relate. Any help??

    Mike

  • You are an incredible husband to care so much for your wife. You are soooo supportive. You must remember, in the end, this is her journey. Anyways, random thoughts.....

    Go buy her a really cute workout outfit. Help her find a few new exercises. Sometimes workouts can get stale. I get rejuvenated when I decide to conquer a new machine. The smith machine is my newest enemy...I mean friend. :-) Work out in front of a mirror. She needs to see every new muscles, lump, line and progress mark in her body. She has lost sight of her goals. Has she reviewed them? Did she find an after photo that she wanted to look like? Take progress photos and compare them. She needs a new outfit, manicure, pedicure, new hairdo...something. She needs something to recharge with. Monotony in life stinks and gets us nowhere.

    I think most of the ladies can relate to the moment that she is in. Being a single, career mom of 3, I find the only time to work out for me is at 10:30 or 11:00 at night. I still start my mornings anytime between 5:00 and 7:00. It was a tough schedule to get used to for me. However, I took progress photos at 2 weeks and was TOTALLY inspired to finish my journey.

    My fear for your wife is that she would not fulfill the promise that she made to herself and not finish the challenge. She will regret that. I promise you that. Women are caretakers by nature. However, we never take time for ourselves. If she doesn't fulfill this commitment to herself, it could be a domino effect.

    We are pulling for both of you guys! Keep that promise to yourself!

    Keep the faith!

    Faithful Renee :0)

  • Hey Mike,

    I've got a big sign posted on the door of my workout room:

    "The greatest gift we can give our children is to set a model of their mother taking care of herself."

    Our actions teach our children how to be in the world.  She's not just doing this for herself.

    When I first began I felt like I was taking time away from my family  by taking those 20 or 45 minutes to workout.  I felt like I was letting other things drop because I was taking that time for myself.  You know what I found as I went forward?  That I was happier, I was more productive, I was more pleasant to be around BECAUSE I took that time.  It's an small investment of time with a high yield.  

    She's lucky - you are a great support to her. I'm sure you encourage her to do what's necessary.

    After doing this for nigh on six years, I can truly tell you that if I wasn't taking care of myself, which includes my workout time, I would be doing my family a disservice.  That's not what I want and I'm sure she doesn't either.

    Looking forward to meeting you and your family in 24 days,

    Michelle T  

    How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?  Anthony Robbins

  • Thanks so much for the responses ladies. I really appreciate it! I'm sure this will be encouraging to Tina when she reads it.  

    One of the positive things in this is she's taking the "fast-track" course at school (which is M-F for 5 months as opposed to the regular pace course which is Tuesday and Thursdays for 10 months), so she only has about 4 months left and she'll be done! I think a lot of her discouragement comes from leaving the house by 7 am and being gone til 7 pm, going constantly while she's gone, then homework on top of that, studying for tests, oh and we also have 3 kids from 12 to 8 yrs old who are in volleyball and baseball. =) I'm sure you get the picture. lol!

    @ Renee - I like the idea about buying her a new workout outfit!  I think I'll do that.  

    One thing that's hard, watching her feel discouraged, is the fact that we're in week 8 so I know her "miracle" as it's called, is right over the horizon where she's about to start seeing drastic changes happen visibly. I'd just hate for her to lose hope now, being so close to the payoff that's coming for her.

    @ Michelle, we were just talking last night about the Meetup in Austin and how excited we are about coming to that. I know that will be encouraging and a real boost for her!

    Mike

  • Wanted to let you know, my wife (in her words), had her best UBWO last night of the whole 8 weeks!  I relayed the encouragement received from both of you (Renee and Michelle), as well as Champster Michelle, and all of what y'all said helped her feel a lot better. So again, thank you for the encouraging words.

    I usually do my workouts soon after getting home from work (around 4-5:00 pm), so mine was already done when she got home last night. So she asked if I would mind helping her think of a few new exercises for her routine since she had been doing pretty much the same ones since week 1.  So I showed her a few different ones and "coached" her thru her workout. She pushed hard on every exercise...it was awesome. I could see the muscle fibers twinging in her shoulders which was really cool. It was also good quality time together for both of us. So hopefully yesterday was her turning point!

    Mike

  • Mike-That is AWESOME news about your wife! She is very lucky to have you as her "coach"!! I change my exercises at least every 4 wks so she might want to do that as well.

    Keep up the great work, Coach and tell your wife to keep pushing the workouts hard, the results will be well worth it!! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Thanks DebbieMO. Yea, she feels really good today!

    Mike

  • Mike you are a gem!  Keep helping her stay positive!  Your words mean a great deal to her probably more than you know.  My husband has been so supportive for me this entire journey.  Keep it up!  

    Rachel

  • Hi Mike!

    I stumbled on your post and decided to read it-

    You are wonderful to support your wife- I know that everytime I feel like quitting or just upset that my results aren't coming in, or that I don't have enough time to fit everything in, my husband hugs me and says "You don't have time for your body- but your body has time for you" then he reminds me that by staying healthy and taking care of myself, sure, I may lose an hour or two away from my daughter everyday, but I am gaining YEARS with her by making sure I stick around when she's older and has her own kids.

    Stacy Lynn

  • Amen Stacy! That's what you should focus on when the going gets tough....what you are doing for your body is allowing for you to enjoy your time with your husband and daughter in the future! And kudos to your husband for that wonderful support!! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...