The tears and the frustration!

  • I'm about to finish week 4 and it had been the roughest week thus far! Prolems with friends/family, gatherings here and there, and lots running around have kept me from being as focused as I want to be. I've skipped meals and barely made it through the workouts. This morning i looked at myself in the mirror and cried because I am seeing no change at all. I feel like all of these things have just taken a toll and I will not look like all the others at the end of the 12 weeks. I want to succeed - i need to succeed but I'm afraid I may have sabatoged my chances!

    Have I? Is there still hope if I just remain focused or should I start all over again.

    Please help. I have no one else to turn to but you guys who have/are doing B4L!

  • Hey honey...we've been there. We have your back.

    Dont look back, look forward. Start a new tomorrow. You have not lost what you have started! True.

    Email me if I appear to have lost you ok? It will be ok.

  • Meldia- DON'T QUIT!  It has only been four weeks! The real changes are happening on the inside first; you likely won't see changes on the outside til around week 8 (go to mikeharris.org and look for the Ladies' Success Document-it tells of many women who do not see major changes until around that time).

    My first challenge, the first 4 wks I lost 6 lbs. and I think 3 inches, but I knew I had to stick it out bc I made a promise to myself to FINISH. Make a promise to yourself and honor that.

    At the end of my challenge (3/14), I had lost 20# and 15 inches.  After 2 wks of rest, I'm down 25# and 20 inches.

    Stay with it, FOCUS, and go to the "Faithful GBers thread" for extra support. Post there and follow that thread...

    Let me know if you need anything!!

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Hello!!  I completed BFL last year & lost 25 lbs.  The weight really started to fall off around week 7.  Keep going!!  I would be a hypocrite if I said, "never give in", because we all know there are times we fall off the wagon!  I stopped exercising & eating the BFL way 4-5 months ago due to having surgery & have gained back at least 8 lbs. & I feel terrible about myself!  Please don't allow yourself to do this!!  I'm trying to get back on board being gone so long, but it's REALLY hard! If things come up with family/friends, etc...know that if you stop doing this for yourself, it only makes those things in life HARDER to deal with.  That's right where I am!  It's no fun.  SO keep going...and know that you are my inspiration right now...I'm going to follow right behind you! ok?

  • Meldia,

     Please remember that the 12 wks is only the begging of your journey. Continue to move forward and don't be so hard on yourself. Life happens and gets in the ways of our perfect plans. Please don't compare yourself to the pictures you see from the champions. It is something to strive for because as it has been said if you shoot for the moon and you don't reach it, you will still land amongs the stars.

    Just keep doing your thing. Don't give up and always ask for help

  • One thing that is always going to get in the way of staying motivated and really focusing is, and I hate to say it, family and friends that do not have the vision or drive. You are doing great to have even made it to week 4. Do not give up - there are always other challenges. I am finishing my first challenge this Sunday and am not where I want to be but I look forward to starting again right away and as many more times as it takes to get to where I want and NEED to be.

    I have had to let people know that I don't eat that way anymore. This is difficult to do because so many people do not consider a social event a social event without eating until you want to puke. I have decided that I have much more fun when I don't feel so full that I can even move.

    I eat dinner every Sunday at my mother-in-law's housse and often times I go without as it does not fit into my new way of healthier eating. Some times she gets offended and keeps offering me more and more but I had to POLITELY say "NO THANKS!" This only took a few times and now she does not even ask. People will soon realize that you are serious and stop the pressure. I don't know if it is like this for you on outings with family/friends but more than likely it is as most people get offended when THEIR food is turned down. Not a worry any more here. I know what is good for me and will not allow others to make the decision for me.

    KEEP IT UP! YOU CAN MAKE IT AND WILL SEE RESULTS!

    Much Love and best wishes!

  • I hate to give you tough love, but I think you need it. 

    Get serious!! 

    I have stopped and started, then stopped and started several times until finally I told myself 
    "You either does this- and do it RIGHT, or not at all.  Whats it going to be?!? Are you  BLFer, or not?"

    I said yes.

    And though it kills me and I want to bite off my fingers when co workers have pot lucks, or I turn friends down for dinner, I push through because I know I can. 

    Here's some advice that really helped me stay on track- Use  Body for Life journal (buy on ebay for $10-20)- it helps me so much, I can't go a day without it. It forces you to write down your reasons for joining BFL and your goals.  Then every day you plan your meals and work outs in the book and at the end of the day you tally up your progress. 

    I find that it helps push you further.

    Stacy Lynn

  • Meldia, you've gotten a bunch of great responses by real people doing this challenge.  May I say something that might help you?  Give this program a chance to work.  Don't be frustrated if you hear it takes 7-8 weeks to see real changes and don't get frustrated if at week 7 or 8 the changes didn't occur yet.  Give it 12 weeks THEN see what you've accomplished.  The only thing I really believe in that many BFL'er may disagree with is your free day.  I live for my free day.  IN the beginning, it was a day of gluttony.  Eventually it toned down.  Yes, you hear it hinders your progress but remember you do what YOU have to do to finish this thing.  AND if eating all out on Sunday prevents you from losing 20 pounds and you only lose 15 pounds, then its better than chosing "not to take a free day at all" getting completely discouraged by facing weeks of NOT CHEATING AT ALL and giving up on the program.

    I've asked and questioned why my progress was going slow and many MANY people questioned my free day... well here is my response, everything I do on FREE DAY is authorized and yes, my overall results may not be as significant as others, but because I take that FREE DAY I recharge my system and give myself the motivation to make it through the next 6 days.

    I would love to just scream LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT MY FREE DAY when people tell me not to go all out, because I know ME and I NEED my free day.  PLUS for all the people that say to STICK TO THE BOOK, well, my free day IS STICKING TO THE BOOK.  There are success stories of people that DID take full free days and had great results.  Don't be shy to take it if you need it to finish.  Stay super strong for 6 days knowing Sunday is around the corner.  Its like quitting smoking, eventually its not as hard to give up nicotine.  

  • What the Heck Syndrome–Throwing It All Away! by: Michael Harris 2/19/2008 ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

    Many of you are in about this time in your challenges. I think this "rerun" from March 2007 may help. Today, we’re going to briefly deal with what I think is the most dangerous part of the first transformation, the middle weeks.

    About weeks 5 to 8, somewhere in there, you will encounter the "what the heck" syndrome. How you deal with it will determine the course and outcome of the rest of your challenge. Here’s how it works. You’ve seen good results to this point, maybe nothing spectacular, but your clothes fit looser, people have noticed, you feel stronger and lift more, and your diet has been pretty much by the book. You’re feeling confident and more. Then, here it comes: "Honey, you’re looking great, and that big wedding reception is coming up next week. Would you do me a big favor and just try to eat and act normally while we’re there? You deserve a little break–you’ve worked so hard!" A smile, and a "pretty please" squeeze and he or she walks away.

    You bite. At the wedding reception, it’s cake and ice cream, a few beers, a couple of handfuls of nuts, and so on. What the heck–you’ll burn it off in the early morning cardio. And you hit the cardio hard. But you hit free day which comes up very quickly even harder. Sleeping in after free day felt pretty good, and you’ll be back on that routine before they know it. This begins a spin from which some never recover.

    Well, this is just an example, and the what the heck syndrome can take many other forms. A very sad event that just begs you to eat and drink over it. A really joyous event that just has to be celebrated. So, what’s wrong with that? Can’t I enjoy life, you say? WELL, my question to you is, "What does risking all the work you’ve done so far, in exchange for some really unhealthy eating actually have to do with the enjoyment of life?? If this is how the rest of your life after your challenge is going to be, you don’t stand the proverbial snowball’s chance in Hell of keeping your weight off and staying conditioned.

    The appropriate response to the "what the heck" opportunity is simple. Act like you’re enjoying yourself, and you no doubt will. If you can’t handle the peer pressure, grab a glass of diet soda, put a few little food treats on a plate and walk around talking to folks. Mess up the treats, and then at the first opportunity put the plate down, or hand it to a waiter, and walk away. You’ll feel better, and really, no one who matters to you will ever notice the difference. You will, though, because you won’t be waking up the next morning feeling like a bird slept in your mouth!

    Having fun and acting normal at foodfests, without becoming a victim of the gluttony, takes practice but can be done! If you don’t master this, even if your challenge goes smoothly, the rest of your life is going to be a bumpy road! When I was first learning how to be a recovering alcoholic, I worried to death about how to decline a drink when offered one. My sponsor told me to simply say, "No thanks, I’ve had plenty!" And it was certainly no lie either. It worked. The only people who still tried to push drinks on me were people who needed the program I had just been in. It’s no different with food. The ones trying to get you to stuff yourself are doing it due to their own issues, not yours!

    Eat, drink and be merry–on free days! On other days, be merry! Don’t let anyone steal the prize out from under your nose.

  • Wow!

    Look at all of the support!

    These are your friends, girlfriend!

    These people got your back!

    "What you put in, is what you are going to get back."

    - Terry


  • Meldia: there is only so much that you can rely on others for support , yes it is fabulous, and I certainly enjoy my share, but YOU HAVE TO WANT IT girlfriend - no matter what LIFE gets in the way. You have NOT wasted 4 weeks and there is so much left to gain if you just keep your head high and your big girl panties on. Stay true to finishing what you started FOR YOU. Be a VICTOR Meldia.

    This post meant alot to me when I needed a kick in the butt. BFLMIke always knew what I needed to hear. I hope it helps you too. XO

    YOUR FIRST NAME IS VIC! Is Your last name Tim or Tor?

    by: Michael Harris 2/22/2008

    –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– When you got up this morning, you had a choice, one which you made by your actions if not in your mind, to live one of two different roles for that day. Everyone does it, though some end up playing both roles in the same day, depending on how they handle circumstances.

    WHat am I talking about? Well, you can live each day playing the role of VICTIM, or VICTOR. THese two words, with the first four letters exactly the same, end with two different letters that make all the difference in the world.

    If you choose to live as a victim, you will decide to depend on the pity or sympathy of others instead of looking at your circumstances and asking for strength to change those you can and serenity to live with those you can’t.

    If you choose to live as a victim today, you will be super sensitive and always questioning the motives of what others are doing, or what is behind what they are saying, instead of taking them at face value and choosing to believe the best about others.

    If you choose to live as a victim today, you may find yourself taking up offenses for others, feeling sorry for yourself, and being envious of what others have, instead of forgiving those who wrong you and leaving it up to others to forgive those who wrong them, instead of believing the best about yourself, and instead of being thankful for all that everyone has, understanding that what they have does not mean that you can’t get the same thing some day.

    Choosing victim rather than victor today means you cannot win, that you can only lose all power you had to others. It means that those others who will pity you for a while will desert you when you become a burden, and that no one will ultimately care that you grow lonely, sad, and bitter. Because you chose victim, you will be unable to taste and experience the true joy of victory over selfishness, and the true joy that giving to others will bring you.

    The hardest part of all this, of course, isn’t making the RIGHT choice. It’s understanding that YOU HAVE THAT CHOICE! That knowledge comes from always beginning each day with the right actions, and then the right thoughts will follow. The first action? If you are a person of faith, it should probably be hitting your knees before you hit your feet!