Confessions / Please admonish me back on track?

  • C1W9D6

    The past week (almost week and a half, really) have been, schedule-wise, insane. It was finals week (I'm a teacher), my boys are both in sports, the oldest started daily football camp, dear husband works opposite shift (so doesn't help w kids), and my stepson just arrived for summer. Now school is out, but the boys' schedules are different every day, and I have a class I'm taking that starts a week from Monday, 9-3 M-F for a month.

    This past week, I chose sleep instead of working out. I chose bathing instead of journaling. I didn't even have time to go to the store, so I lived on protein bars and whatever relatively healthy thing I could find - not always "authorized."

    Long story short, I hopped on a metaphorical trebuchet and catapulted myself so far off of the wagon that I got lost in the woods.

    What allowed this to happen (Because I was pure until this - not a workout missed, not a meal cheated) was that I haven't seen any significant change. My weight HAS NOT CHANGED AT ALL. Nada. My measurements haven't changed, except that my quads and upper arms have gotten bigger (not necessarily the change I was hoping for). On top of that, I still have food reactions I haven't identified, as I'm often bloated and my digestive track is, shall we say... unhappy.

    Now, I do see slight muscle definition. I do have less fat on my backside. My glutes are ... more noticeable. I have been more energetic and less crabby. But I wanted to see change in my body, too, and I guess, if I'm honest with myself, with all of the stress of the schedule, I looked in the mirror, looked at the scale, and looked at the measuring tape and got depressed. I thought about throwing in the proverbial towel and forgetting it all. I have to admit it: I LIKE *food porn here* and I want to eat it!

    My husband said, "You only have three weeks left. If you don't finish, you'll always wonder what it would be like if you had." Well, now I've lost a good week. Part of me feels like I'm already too far gone.

    I worked UB today - found it incredibly hard to focus. I plan to do cardio tomorrow, go shopping, and eat clean.

    I really do want to finish this. I do want to make this part of my life, but I'm so darn lazy. It was easy while school was in - I worked out every day as soon as school was out and got home before the boys did. Now school's out. I have a class I'm taking starting next week. My whole routine is messed up.

    Please, please, please, beat me into submission!!! Please?? I need someone to help me be strong right now, because I can't seem to manage to pull it together by myself....


    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips

  • Kimmie,

    First things first. . . your signature line from Bill Phillips wipes out any reason not to finish!

    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips

    In other words, all the changes to your schedule will be managable.  You'll adjust and "roll with the punches" and conquer this challenge if you want it bad enough!

    Second. .. you absolutely ARE NOT too far gone to finish this challenge!  I started my first BFL challenge last summer and quit at week the end of week 8 because I didn't see the results I thought I would / should.  It

    took until February of this year for me to start another challenge.  I finished this one, lost 20 pounds of scale weight and feel great about it!  I still wonder though, how far I could be if I hadn't quit last summer. . .

    Ok - time for my confession. . . I was supposed to start my second challenge last Sunday after one week of active rest.   I didn't and let myself make the excuse of schedule changes (I went back to school full time) not to start - it was too much.  Guess what - it's not too much, I want it too bad and I am PREPARED AND MOTIVATED to start tomorrow.  

    Kimmie, you can do this!  You deserve to finish and not end up wondering "what if"!!!!

    Best of luck to you!  


  • I have a partial admission that may help you with your frustration in not seeing results-

    C1, W11, D6: Almost done.

    This morning I took photos, but didn't have time to download them and all that jazz. I was able to get to the gym for a grueling UBW and a little light cardio, plus some extra ab work. So, I get to the locker room, take off my shoes and peek at the scale. I'm thinking, "okay, promised myself I wouldn't do this, but I am going to- I'm almost done, anyway." Stepped on the scale- NO DIFFERENCE. So much work, and not one pound difference.

    I left the gym, fighting back tears, sped home and downloaded the pictures. I gasped. Yes, a little toning in my arms and abs, but other than that, no difference. Really? Have I felt this good and pushed myself this far for nothing? So, as my final check, I grabbed the calipers. Measured four times, looked at the chart. FOUR PERCENT BODY FAT, GONE!! :D

    So, I call my girlfriend up, and tell her what's happening. She says, "Girl, I've seen you haul your meals. I've seen you skip out on girl's night out. I've seen you run that track like an animal and out-lift that guys at the gym. And, not one complaint- you were happy to do all of it. because you knew you were making a healthier you. Maybe you don't immediately see the physical changes, but I know I've seen great mental changes in you- plus, I think you look fabulous!"

    So, the moral of the story is this: Our bodies have been in these unhealthy modes for a really really long time - we cannot expect for miracles to happen overnight, in 5, 10, or even 12 weeks- the change comes slowly, FROM THE INSIDE OUT, and  it might take a little longer than three months for our bodies to "budge" from their comfort zone and change completely.

    What 3, 6, or 9 months in comparison to how long our bodies have been unhealthy? What are those times in comparison to what we will be doing for our health and looks in the future?

    Stick with it, Kimmie, or you will head back down the unhappy, unhealthy road, where you started. Allow your body time to change. You WILL see and feel results.

    Good luck,


    "The joy of life is the fruit of discipline"

    "The joy of life is the fruit of discipline" -S. Randall

  • If challenges were easy everyone would do them.  And if the last few weeks weren't so friggin hard, then more people would finish them.  But only 5% of the people who start a challenge EVER finish it.  It's real simple, want to be part of the 95% or the 5%.  Now I throw this in your face only because you can do it.  You've come this far, you can go all the way.  Did you use pictures to compare the results..I don't think I saw that in your post.  The scale is the enemy.  The scale can't tell you how much of you is fat and how much is muscle.  Only how your clothes fit and your picture look.  I didn't hear you mention either of those things.

    You've done your venting, you've let out your just get back to it.  Force yourself to get started again and you will  soon find yourself back in a familiar, though hard rhythm.

    I say all this in kindness and with a strong desire to see you accomplish your goals but..


    So go ahead...Lift Heavy and make it happen!!

    10's in exercise and nutrition = 10's in life

  • Thank you so much, guys.I needed that. I got up this morning and ran my cardio, and found out that I'm in better shape than my German  Shepherd, who I had to almost drag.  :)

    I want to be part of that 5%, and I will. I needed the tough love. Thank you!

    I actually did take pics, and that was part of my mini-depression.... not much change visible. But I'm keepin' on.... :)   My clothes DO fit better.

    See you at the finish line!

    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips

  • KIMMIE!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with Angie about your signature line...just read it!!!! YOU ARE capable of far more than you think you are...the things that you are thinking are in that head of yours...Head in the game lady!

    Do I need to come to Liberty and find your head?? I'm known to some as the "Headhunter" lol!! You're only a couple hrs from me!!

    We got out of school 2 wks ago and granted I am not taking any summer school classes (Thank Goodness!), I have still kept with my same schedule albeit about an hr later in the mornings.

    Can you workout before going to class or before the kids get up so you have limited disruptions?

    3 wks to go????? MAKE THIS HAPPEN AND JOIN THE 5% CLUB!!

    I finish my 2nd Challenge on the 19th so I will be waiting at the finish line waving the checkered flag for you!!!

    GO KIMMIE GO!!!!!

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • I now this is not in Bills book, but I recommend counting calories--at least at first.  It is to hard for me at this stage to know I am not overeating.  Use and an excell spread sheet.  Get factual to make sure you are not actually eating too many calories.

  • Thank you, DebbieMO, for your encouragement. I'm back on board. I was tempted to "double up" to make up for those missed workouts, but I know that I just need to focus on finishing strong!

    I'm going to be in class from 9-3 with an hour lunch break, so I've decided I'm going to go over to the college gym and workout there! That means my fellows will have to endure my sweatiness all afternoon (I'm sure the gym has a shower I can wash off in real quick), but that's what they get for scheduling an HOUR break in the middle of my day! ;)

    I WILL do this! :D Thank you!

    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips

  • Kimmie,

    You said one thing which I believe had more impact on your lack of motivation than anything else.  That is, you had "not seen a change in your weight" .  First let me say that you need to throw away your weight scales! If this is truly "Body for Life", then life is a lot longer than 12 weeks.  In other words take a longer view of things.  By worrying about your weight constantly, you are sending chemical signals to your body that increases your body's response to conserve fat.  Worrying is not your weight loss friend in other words.  Focus on the work-out and the nutrition plan.  Take your satisfaction from these positive endeavors and the rest will work itself out in time.  HINT:  Time is on your side!  

    The good news is that they have not repealed the laws of thermodynamics. In the long run, if you expend more calories than you consume you WILL lose weight.  This is not an opinion but a fact. However, in the short run, you can experience the lack of weight loss you have experienced.  This is due to allowing negative emotions to affect your physiology.

    Work hard.  Look forward and Don't quit.          

  • I have to add my two cents to this thread.  I'm a recovering obese, lazy @$$.  I spent two solid years back in 1999 & 2000 packing 150 pounds on to my otherwise halfway fit 150 pound body.  In two years I settled, made excuses, used unreasonable reasoning and literally crushed myself under the excess weight.  

    10 years later, I'm still about 10 pounds from that original 150 starting weight, yet I'm in a smaller size.  

    It's so much easier to quit than to push on.  Truly it is.  Every single day getting up and eating right and working out and keeping your mind in the positive mindset IS HARD WORK.

    It's not for sissies as my brother would say.  But let me ask you this...


    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • Your "food reactions" sound like my body's response to sugar alchohol's, particularly Maltitol.  Check the label on your Protein bars, and if they contain Maltitol, try something else and that may do the trick.  That's why I don't eat low-carb bars.