Living with a food addict

  • Both my hubby and I are doing BFL.

    I have great will-power but hubby doesn't.  I have to be very careful how I store our free-day-food.

    We also have a small child and I don't want to deprive her of higher calorie healthy foods such as cheese so I have to hide the cheese at the back of the fridge.

    I'm not trying to complain or ask for advice - just thought there might be others out there who are dealing with the same thing.  More thinking that we can support each other and use each other as a sounding board.

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!

  • oh my gosh you took the words right out of my mouth, well except I don't have a small child but a 17-yr old that visits occasionally and my hubby is not doing bfl.  my hubby has little patience and not much will power.  I have cooked and prepared the food here since we've been together.  There's not ONE day that goes by that I'm not faced with junk food that I either have to pack in his lunch, make for breakfast, or dinner, or 3 other snacks after dinner!  I used to use that as an excuse 'cuz then I would find it much easier to just eat what he's eating.  And it felt comforting and tasted good.  In the past we'd even have fights where I'd say he wasn't supporting me by eating that stuff in front of me and having me make it.  

    Finally, after dealing with other people in my life that just made excuses for why their life was crap, it dawned on me that only WE OURSELVES are accountable for what we put in our body.  just because someone else is eating it, doesn't mean we have to, that person is not stuffing it down our throats.  I mean if I worked at a restaurant, I couldn't just quit and blame the customers for my fatness 'cuz they wanted to order a burger and fries.  I am choosing to thrive in my environment.  It is my own personal challenge that I know I can control if I have the right mindset.  I can't change other people to adapt to me.  

    A while back my husband did ask me to put the junk food in the back of the fridge or cupboards, so that's a good thing.  He also has this thing where he thinks the fridge is only 2-dimensional and doesn't want to be bothered trying to reach for something if he can't see it right when he opens the door.

  • My husband can eat anything and stays so slim..he exercises a lot, bike rides, hikes etc, I have a cupboard just for him! and he stores his junk in there, funnily enough it doesn't bother me but when I first started BFL I had his junk food in the garage:)

    I think I got to the point that he can eat it but you know what I really don't want it anymore but it does help if it's out of sight. He had chocolate chip cookies on the top of the fridge last week and I did have to move them so...out of sight.

    Now when we go grocery shopping I'll say that's too much junk, just get a couple of things and he'll say ok.

    It is hard though sometimes, but I think I don't like the feeling if I were to eat junk every day so I remind myself of that too.

  • My partner is 46 and he the body of an 18-year-old. He eats junk once a week. We agreed that he will buy only the junk I don't like to eat. He stopped buying chocolate and cake to support me with this program. I feel bad for him sometimes so I buy him the odd cup cake or snickers bar on the codition that he has to eat real quick. lol

    I am the food addict in this relationship. He doesn't understand what it means to gain weight and struggle with weight. He also thinks that I will go exercise today and lose the weight tomorrow.

    Courage isn't lack of fear. It's our ability to carry on despite our fear

  • In the first week of my challenge, we went out to eat with my step-daughter and hubby wanted an appetizer.  I said "sure you 2 go ahead but I won't be having any."  I could tell my will power was making him question his own and then he started to feel fat, so he practically told me to take my free day, he wanted me to join in on the gluttony.  I was prepared for this.  In the kindest tone I could muster I just shrugged it off and said, "No I will just eat when my food comes."  I knew if I lost my patience and demanded, how dare you tell me what to eat! that would lead nowhere.  Then BOTH my hubby and daughter chimed together, "take you free day, take your free day!"  I started to get uncomfortable and I think a light went on in my husband's head.  He immediately changed the subject.  phew!  the night went great, they ordered their appetizer, I grabbed one chip off of it, they yelled at me "thought you weren't having this with us!"  they were right, I couldn't beleive I did it without even thinking.  luckily our food came right after, not even giving them a chance barely to eat the appetizer.

    At the end of the meal, they were both bloated and I was perfectly content with leftovers for tomorrow!

    Since then my husband did that guilt thing again.  He had a package of cookies laid out.  I looked at the nutrition facts, the calorie/carb count was pretty low for just 1 tiny cookie.  So I had one after dinner (unauthorized I know!)  And I was able to stop there I was so proud!  Then husband puts 3 more right on my plate...  I politely asked him why he did that.  I think it was hard for him to confess out loud and to come to terms with it himself, but he said, "'Cuz then that way I don't feel as guilty just having eaten 20."  I knew the whole time that that was his reason, but it was good to hear him accept that.

    And that was the last time so far he tried to push food on me.  I did fall off the wagon one night, but he didn't chastise me or laugh or anything.

  • Optigirl - I am sooooo proud of you!  It's so hard when others are eating in front of you - that's how I ended up where I was.  Just so easy to just eat the junk that came home just before I was going to cook.  

    I'm just frustrated that I have to still find hidey-holes to put treats in.  My favourite chocolate is regularly on sale every 6 weeks for nearly half price so I like to buy 6 blocks (they're only little blocks) to get to the next sale.  

    Reminds me of a funny story...

    When my daughter was around 18mths, I had the last bar of my chocolate stash hidden under my recliner (the only place my hubby wouldn't have looked).  One day I was sick with the flu and put on the square baby sitter while I lay back on my recliner.  Hubby was on the internet and woke me up with the packet despairing that "she didn't even share it"!  She slept really well that day surprisingly but the nappy later on could have killed a horse!

    Have a lovely day all!

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!

  • I recall the day when I was in my last week of B.F.L. and I was having terrible cravings. It was a rainy day and I had a stressful day at work. That evening my husband (who was suppose to do B.F.L. with me but didn't) came home with two BigMac's, a large fry, soda, and brownies. I nearly died! I had to leave the house just so I was not tempted. The smell of the food made me want to eat every morsel but I didn't. I was mad at him for not respecting my needs on the other hand I was proud of myself for resisting temptation.

    By the time I officially finished the challenge I looked so much better, and felt like a new person. In the end, my husband started to change his eating habits a little. I will continue to be a good role model for our 21 year old daughter and hope she follows in my foot steps.  

    Let's all stay stong together!

    Lori

  • Lori, you are a real trooper!  

    I've been going through the forums reading through again how others are resisting temptation with the attitude that if they can resist, so can I.  Just the last few days have been really bad - no extra stress but I'm just craving twisties like mad!  And piping hot fresh white bread slathered in butter.

    Funny that I'm the one with great will-power but I'm feeling so weak this week.  I'm also feeling very run-down and I've injured my arm.  I'm not sure what I did but upper body is out until it stops hurting.  So is Zumba - the constant jerky movements hurt.

    I smile though when my 4yo yells out in the shopping centre "I only like healthy food" and on the way out of kindy she asks me for a drink and then says "I only like water mummy"!  The mum next to me gasps and says "I know at least a dozen mums who would give their right arm to hear that from their child"!  Mind you she'd never say no to chocolate, jelly babies, chips or lemonade......

    Hubby has decided to test his will-power.  He bought a few bags of Jelly Bellies and some blocks of chocolate that were on special 3 nights ago.  So far he hasn't touched them.

    I have always said that addiction to food didn't affect anyone else but after seeing my before and mid-way pics today I'm convinced otherwise.  I would be about to make dinner and hubby would show up with a chicken and chips or a pizza and a tub of ice-cream.  I'm happy with a scoop in a cone but he can't leave the tub half full for next time so I eat another scoop.  He'd happily go buy me a block of chocolate if I was looking sad and one for him.

    Neither of us want to go back to that lifestyle.  I just hope that we can get the will-power thing under control.

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!

  • Hi Kree- ations!!

    Here's a great tip. I have learned that when my cravings are very bad, I am about to lose a pound. It happened every time. In fact it happened 13 times! ha ha!!

    Your 4 year-old is so cute. Keep up the good work!

    Power to you!

    Lori

  • Thanks Lori :-)  Great tip.  I'll have to remember that next time I twist and turn wanting this or that.  It doesn't happen very often thankfully.

    We've got free day tomorrow and I bought some cream cheese to test out the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting recipe you pm'd me.  I can't wait.  And funnily enough I suddenly dropped about a pound this morning.   Yippee!

    Still feeling really down and I couldn't face my workout today (but I'll have to get on the cross trainer whether I like it or not sometime tonight).  It might have something to do with the torrential and un-seasonal rain we've had for the past 2 weeks.  Everyone has had enough and wants summer to finally start!  Secretly, I'll be very happy with a wet Christmas day though.  So sick of hot and humid Aussie Christmas days!

    Better go make dinner!  Yummy dory fillets baked with onion, lemon and lime (and a tiny bit of chilli).

    hugs to all of you <3

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!

  • Yep, dealing with someone who eats alllllll night in front of the tv and makes it worse he doesn't gain weight.  He will run 7 miles when the mood strikes.  However he is loosing muscle tone and size.  So hard to stick to my eating when chip chopper is beside me.

    I have decided to do something while I am in front of the tv like making jewelry, journaling etc.  I try to have my snacks (healthy) to fight off the temptation of eating his.

  • Keeping yourself occupied with making jewelry or crafts while your hubby is chomping away is a great idea! I have to try that. My husband is thin as well- so unfair!!

  • Well the good news on my part is that my hubby has now lost 17kg in 8 weeks (only a few to go until his boss will be happy by next week and I know he'll do it).  I'm really proud of my food addict.  We went to a child's birthday party this morning and he only ate the veges on the platters.  People who hadn't seen him in the past 2 months (being he is on long service leave) didn't recognise him at first "is that your husband's younger brother?" was a common question aimed at me.  I'm so so so so so proud of him.  He told everyone there about his struggle and about Bill Phillips and the BFL system and how we had done it previously and then let ourselves go.  There was someone there who's adult son was in need of losing weight so she took down the website details.  Let's all pray that the lady's son takes it on board!

    Fun-day today for me (hubby has only a week until weigh in so he decided to not join us) but I'm not over-doing it.  I hate feeling over full.

    Thanks for all the encouragement - it's really helped me this week <3

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!

  • After writing my last post, we went to the movies that night.  didn't have time for supper.  My hubby wanted to buy the bigger popcorn but I said I wouldn't be having any.  He insisted on still getting the bigger one 'cuz he said I'd eat some anyway... I took it as a dare and had absolutely nonE!! I had cucumbers and trail mix in my purse and drank water.  I don't know if he was testing me, or really thought I would cave and take his popcorn share away.

    when I'm in front of the TV while hubby is eating, I like to knit.  It keeps the hands busy and impossible to eat.  Since I started BFL, I've gotten a lot more knitting done!

  • Optigirl, you are DA BOMB!!!!  I'm so PROUD of you :-)

    I love knitting too - I really love difficult cable patterns.  What's your knitting bug?

    I'm so proud of ALL of you out there resisting the urge to eat unauthorised foods - especially those who are faced with food challenges every day from other halves who eat it in front of them.

    Hugs, Kree <3

    Body for LIFE, not body for 12 weeks!