Since when is taking care of yourself "obsessing"?

  • Twice now I have heard someone refer to me saying I was obessing over body for life.  First it was my husband.  I kind of understand that since I'm sure I am driving him crazy with it all before I found this forum.  He thanks you all!   But most recently my mother made a comment that really irked me.  Someone on her facebook say a picture of me and my daughter at her dance tournament a few weeks ago and said "Heather looks great!".  My mother's reply "I'm sure she'll appreicate it.  She's always obsessing over herself."   How in the world is wanting to live a healthy lifestyle obsessing?   I was really hopeing she might be inspired by it and start taking better care of herself.  

    Oh well.  Sorry to gripe but this really hit a nerve.  Has anyone else had people make those sort of comments?  How did you deal with it?

  • Unfortunately, those are typical responses for people who do not understand.  We see this a lot while working towards our goals.  Most people see this as a diet, a fad, one of those things that will pass along with all the other things that people have tried.  Until they read the book or really read what's on this site, they will not understand and they won't get it unless they jump in and join us.  Only thing you can do is realize that and once you do, you'll be fine. :-)

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • THANK YOU!!!

    My husband rolls his eyes and huffs when I bring up Body For Life or when I say "I can't eat that". Well, He didn't look so huffy when I dropped a pant size this week and showed off my more muscular arms in a new tank top!!!

    What is it with people!?

    Stacy Lynn

  • I get the same from my mom and sometimes my boyfriend - my mom tells me i am not eating enough even though she doesnt watch everything i eat and dad asks me if i am still "on that diet"! and i dont think my bf thinks i can finish it so i am more determined than ever. i get some eye rolls when i turn down unauthorized food! this forum is really my only support...looking forward to when my 12 weeks are up though and everyone wants to do the program too! hang in there.

    Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.

  • For my family initially it was "oh this must be the latest thing" because in the span of 2 years I gained 150 lbs of excess gobbly goo.  At that time, I was willing to try anything.  

    I will say that there is a fine line between "obsessing" and being healthy.  If you find that you can't be away from your computer and this guest book without anxiety, then yes, you might be obsessing.  If you you tell yourself you "can't have this or that" instead of "I choose to wait until free day" then you might be obsessing.  In all things, self honesty is paramount.

    Eventually you will have to find a way to walk tall on your own without BFL being interpreted as something you are doing out of the ordinary.  

    Live the life and sooner or later it becomes ordinary to other people.  My husband knows now that I have free day on Saturday every single week, there is no juggling around of oh well I'll eat this and then skip free day that way everyone stays on the same page.

    Do what you do because it's your passion.

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • Well said, Champster!

    Stacy Lynn

  • I'll never forget the rolled eyes I got when I said I was going to do this again and the blank stare I got when I said I'm at the gym at 4:30 a.m. :-)  Now they see what it has done.  Soon you will be a walking buildboard yourself and they will stop with the comments.  They won't just see you as someone who lost weight but they will see you as a healthy person.  Someone actually told me that a couple of weeks ago.  They responded with you do look great and healthy.  I told them about BFL.  They went and got the book.  Whether they are doing it or not, I don't know.  I think that makes a difference, us being walking buildboards, rather than the results seen with the normal diet/fat burning pill thing (with or without exercising).  Now people just let me be me and don't say much negativity. :-)

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • Thanks for the replies.  At least it's not just me.  The comment my husband made was after I refused a drink at a friends one Friday night.  He got upset and said "everything is different now that your obsessed with this workout stuff".   I explained that yes, everything is different and it's not going away either.  I'm sick of the yo-yo gain weight in the winter, starve and diet in the spring.  This time I'm educating myself on how my body and food work and I'm doing it right and it's going to be forever.   He never said another word after that night and just this weekend he was so very proud telling everyone about how well I'm doing.  He has even gone out and bought running shoes and weight lifting gloves for himself.

    I wish I could get my mother to try the program.   ALL of the woman in my family struggle with weight.  They tell me "it's in your genes...nothing you can do about your genes".   Well yes I can!  And I have!  And my mom could too but she thinks she is too overweight to lift weights.  I worry about her.

    I guess I expected the eye-rolling from the girls in the office. I am sure that is jealousy.

  • Show her my pictures (profile) Heather.  If I can do it anyone can.  And no, it's not in your genes.  It's in your willingness.

    My hubs has also begun doing things for himself that he wouldn't in the past.  I hung my pull up bar in the doorway to the spare bedroom and he loves telling me how many sets and reps he's up to.  I love it.  

    Your mom just doubts herself more than anything.  But remember that you can lead a horse to water, but you simply can not make him drink.

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • I agree, show her Michelle's photos.  Someone once said to me about all those people on the inside cover of the book and I'm paraphrasing, "they look like they have their head in one of those photo taking booth things."  I said, no they are all real people who actually did it. :-)  We never know our potential until we try.

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • With husbands, wives, etc it might be considered obsessing for awhile, but when they see the results and look at their brand new partners, in many cases it becomes damn, *insert name here* you are hot honey :)  

    Who doesn't want a fit partner?  Now, not only are you their partner but you are now the eye candy too. ;)

    For the other cases, they are insecure, which is a completely different discussion.

  • Yep, there are a lot of men that want that trophy wife until their wife becomes one...  ;-)

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • Heather,

    Usually, when we hear these kinds of things from other people, what they say projeects their own insecurities rather than reflecting on us. My mom used to say I was "getting too skinny," too... (trust me - NOT a problem!). What that's really about is the fact that she knows she should be exercising (we used to jog together when I lived in the same town), but she isn't making the time to take care of herself.

    My parents' best friends recently commented to the same effect, but they're morbidly obese and have diabetes as a result. So again - it's about their own knowledge of what they SHOULD be doing to care for themselves, not about me.

    Thankfully, my hubby is supportive. As a recreational body builder, he knows the value of what I'm doing.  

    Just remember when ANYone criticizes you for doing something you know is right  that most of the time, any negative comments they make simply reflect their own shortcomings or insecurities!



    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips