Fear as weight comes off

  • Hey, have any of you felt fearful or anxious as the weight started to come off. The more weight or inches I lose and I see myself in the mirror there is this strange anxiety and fear that sweeps me over. I never thought Id feel this way. Im not sure if "walls" are coming down or what but just wanted to see if anyone else felt or feels the same way. Thanks!

  • Never felt that.  Have frequently self sabotaged - taking the mind set that I have done so much and denied myself so much that I am 'entitled" to this, that, etc ... and by the time I put on the brakes, I find I have undone all or much of my progress.

  • I guess the question you need to answer is - What is it about losing the weight that you fear?

    Tis better to look UP in the mirror to be inspired than to look DOWN at the scale and lose your desire!! - SEM

  • It is engrained into every person to fear change.  That is what you are feeling.  Just keep telling yourself that this is a not just a body changing challenge, it is a life changing event.  Push down those "fears" and enjoy the new you as you progress.  Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job!!!

  • Thanks so much

  • Based on about 4 1/2 years of experience doing this, I would have to agree with krow72.  Your subconcious may wonder what lies ahead.  I had already lost a good deal of weight before I started the BFL regimen, but I could see early signs of body re-shaping, and also wasn't quite sure what lay ahead.  My answer was to continue, and see what would happen, accept the results.  Basically, accept your destiny!  I came to believe there is a lean version of every being on the planet, it is just a matter of bringing it out!

    The other fear a majority of people have is that slight dread and apprehension before a workout.  Then, you workout and feel just great.  Weird thing is, for a lot of us, the apprehension is back the next day.  I've heard that this doesn't occur for a very small percentage of the population, and among them are the super athletes, olympians, sports professional, aka the Arnolds of the plant.

    Once I discovered the joys of weight training, all other passions were transcended.

    Jacium

  • Wow, I appreciate all the responses!

  • Whenever we face change of any kind, we always have to grieve what we lost, even if its a good thing. Maybe you are experiencing something like that?

  • Well, this may be a bit off the wall, but I have experienced a fear reaction to losing weight. Several years ago, I went from a size 18 to a size 8 in 8 months with Weight Watchers. I noticed that once I hit a size 12 I became "visible" to men.

    I was going to college at the time. I ended that particular spring semester without having men pay the slightest attention to me. When I walked down the hallways, their eyes slid over me - I mean, they registered me as a person, but only as an obstacle in their way. I didn't feel "seen." The idea of one of my male classmates asking me out on a date or to coffee was ridiculous. They would speak to me if I spoke to them, but they ended the conversation politely but firmly once the topic had finished being discussed. The one date that I was asked on in my first two years at that college - well, the guy ended up standing me up, and then when he saw me in class after that he didn't acknowledge me.

    When I came back for the fall semester, 30 pounds thinner, I was stunned. Walking down a crowded hallway, men moved out of my way well in advance, frequently giving me the once over and smiling at me or even giving me a tiny "what's up?" nod as I passed them. In class, they asked me if they could borrow a pen or complemented me on my purse, or asked me if they had taken a class with me before. My first day back at school I had a panic attack and ended up hyperventilating in the bathroom.

    The attention only increased that semester as I lost an additional 20 pounds. It was an anxious experience for me.

    I also noticed the thin women were a little nicer and interactive with me too, acting more like I was "one of their own." Before, in classes, it was only the other fat girls who made an effort to talk to me or who sought me out to be on their teams for group projects.

    I believe losing weight and become more attractive to the opposite sex can be a very frightening experience if you're more used to "blending in" with the masses.

    Just my two cents!

    Laura

  • Oh Laura, Im so glad you posted this. I was kind of afraid to explain these feelings. When I was younger I was alot thinner and I modeled and got ALOT of attention from men. Over the years I put on weight because of pregnancies but also in a way to not get that kind of attention anymore. Now all of a sudden Ive felt looks coming my way and the other day I literally wanted to ask my 5 year old if there was something on my face because that could be the only reason why people would be looking at me. When I realized it was probably because the weightloss I started getting all kinds of fear related feelings and stress...anxiety and all that comes with it. Its overwhelming to think that I could possibly get that kind of attention again or even more since now I have kids and people will give me the whole "Wow you look so good for having kids" and that makes me uncomfortable because I remember what it was like to be the woman that didnt get any compliments of that nature as a mother...Oh my goodness....this is a big 'ol stress post. Sorry. But yes, Laura, I do believe that is a HUGE part of my anxiety. Thank you so much for your very honest post.

  • Thats usually when I seem to stop the challenge- you are NOT alone!  I will do great for weeks!  and then around the 9th week, when my clothes are very loose and I am starting to like the way I look, I will suddenly "give up".......  

    I'm trying again this time to make it through that!

    You are strong- embrace the changes!

  • Thanks bye2babyfat, I appreciate the feeling of not being alone in this and I love the support from you guys! I think this challenge will be that much easier for us since we have others to battle through it with :)

  • Yes, it is true that people will perceive and treat you differently than they did when you were heavier.  That happens to us guys, too.   My experience has been that I get better attention, better service from sales people when  I'm shopping and need a clerk, or flying overseas and a stewardess comes by.  I realize it is completely unfair, but I believe these reactions stem from the subconscious mind, and they probably don't really think about it.   Often I detect an unmistakable double-take on the part of people I encounter in public, or in the fitness center.  I've gotten used to it.  

    I would suggest staying with the program, and focusing on the improvement in overall health and well being.   As time goes by, I got used to this situation, and I actually find it a validation of my progress.

    Once I discovered the joys of weight training, all other passions were transcended.

    Jacium