I still feel fat

  • Hi,

    I finished Challenge 1 in March and am currently in Week 3 of Challenge 2.  I realize that I need to change my mindset and my negative and critical self put downs but am not sure how to go about doing it.  I went shopping with a friend yesterday and in 3 stores actually fit into a size 6 comfortably.  I don't think I have ever worn a size 6.  I am not at my lowest weight, but must be more compact because of the muscle.  Of course, I explained it away by saying that the stores I fit into a 6 in were ladies stores, not juniors and that the sizes ran bigger.  My old clothes just hang off me, but yet I can't seem to see it.  I have continued to lose weight and inches in this challenge, but I still can't get this flabby horrible image of myself out of my head.  I guess I am in a crisis of self-esteem and self-confidence and I really want to get out of it.  Does anybody have any books/programs they would recommend?   I want to be a happy, healthy person who enjoys all aspects of life, especially my successes.

     

  • JillClosingyourbuttgirl ~

    I can tooootally relate. The first time I tried on clothes and went from a 10/12 to a size 6 I could barely bring myself to purchase a pair of slacks. I was in shock. I still saw a size 10/12. I didn't look any different in the mirror. Why would these slacks fit me?

    It will take you quite a few shopping trips to start recognizing the changes in your body. You deserve a treat. Get your hair done! Get a manicure! Get a pedicure! Get a tan! Buy some new jewelry! Definitely buy some new clothes! Set up a night to go out with the girls and dress up! You cannot accept a size 6 if it is in sweatpants. :-P You have got to treat yourself well and applaud yourself for what you have accomplished. It will take some time for your mind to truly catch up.

    I am not buying size 2/4/6 clothes, It all depends on the designer. I am finally starting to see and appreciate my physique. I still want to take a back picture with two of my other friends who are both size 4's. I DEFINITELY don't believe that my butt is as small as their butt is. We will see :-D

    Go love you some you! You are not the only person who has struggled with not recognizing this new body you have built. Good job!

    Keep the faith!

    Faithful Renee :0)

  • I remember after a challenge I did about 7 years ago, I was at my lightest adult weight.  My clothes fit well and I walked around with a little cockiness and pride.  The odd thing though is that when I looked in the mirror I still saw every single imperfection.  I still had a layer (albeit slight) of fat on my abdomen and it really threw me off.  Other people would compliment me on my fitness, but something inside would not let go of the boy and man who was fat.  I am convinced now that I have an unrealistic body image.  

    I am currently overweight and I know it.  I have gotten outside confirmation of that.  While I get inspired by the photos of past after photos of challengers, I am not going to measure my success by that yardstick.  I am going to define my success by how much better I feel when I close my eyes and just feel my body move with more strength and flexibility.  One maybe odd thing that I do is close my eyes and feel my arms, shoulders, chest, back and abdomen and my memory tells me that they are firmer and stronger.  

    I have realized that I can only trust my eyes so much.  My eyes send my brain information that then gets mixed with memories of my body and insecurity.  Some recommend not paying attention to the scale, for me though it is an objective reinforcement of my efforts, clothing also is an objective measure.  I have to trust these things more than I do my feelings.

    So JillC, I wish you pride in your accomplishments.  As you continue your work, please know that your body is different than it was on C1W1D1.  Everything you continue to do makes a fitter and healthier person.

  • What i am noticing and love is that I feel more toned everywhere and my skin feels firmer to the touch and younger and softer. Simply amazing!

    During Mass last Sunday, my 11 year old son was squeezing my arm and he whispered to me, "Mom! Your arm is getting some muscles!"  This was simply holding my arm at REST! lol When a child notices this, something must be happening!!!

    Tickled-to-death-Marcy

  • JillC,

    It really truly starts with your daily mindset.  Try repeating the following statements DAILY in the morning before you start your day and in the evening just before you go to sleep.

    I am beautiful.

    I am intelligent.

    I am kind.

    I am thoughtful.

    I am witty.

    I am strong.

    I am fit and I deserve to be.

    I AM ENOUGH.

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • I think we all have this fear of going back to where we started.  I know I've been battling this for the last week or so and I just finished my 5th challenge!

    Renee - I'm where you are.  I purchased two size 6 dresses, a size 6 skirt and a size 4 jacket because I had to for an event and work.  I haven't been able to bring myself to purchase anything else and I need to.  I need slacks and summer cloths.  It's just crazy how our minds can do this.

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • Take the Champsters advice.  Keep telling yourself all of those positive things.  Even if you don't believe them at first you will start to believe them.  Make an effort to not say anything negative about your self outloud to anyone, no one wants to hear that anyways.  Focus on your health and getting strong.  You are worth it!  Love yourself and be forgiving to yourself.  

    Rachel

  • Jill-Sounds like you are having a blah day...What I've done with this challenge (C2W4), is every day I've written down something that has inspired me whether it be a compliment, a success with a workout, helping out someone, whatever...I have gone back to that list (which is about 2 pages now) and it puts a smile on my face every time I read it.

    Hang in there Jill, cause YOU are worth it!!  Just think of the day your husband walks off that plane and sees you!!!! He's gonna think "My wife is HOT!!!"  Have a great day, friend! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Jill- That is amazing that you are wearing a six now! Once you start to believe in it and notice all you have accomplished you will be so proud to buy smaller sizes. Congrats on your accomplishments!

  • Dear Jill,

    My husband would call this "body dismorphia" - I have no idea if it's a legit term or not, but he used to accuse me of it. It sounds like you have yet to make that necessary change in your mindset! A size 6? Many people would do anything (BFL, anyone?) to be in a size 6! That's actually what I'm working to get back into!

    Have you read the BFL books? I find great motivation in them and in others, as well.

    Surround yourself with positive people. Meditate on positive thoughts. Look at all of the accomplishments you've made! Focus on the good things and let those be your inspiration! :D

    ~K

    "The limits you are living with right now, in every aspect of your existence, have been created by your mind. They are perceptions. And they are holding you back. You are capable of far more than you think you are." -Bill Phillips