Might take a good amount of heat for this question but...

  • So here's my question.  As I've posted before several times, I am the kind of person that diets for 25 days of the month then the 5 days I'm not dieting I binge.  I think its safe to say I am a borderline food disorder sufferer.  However, I don't get very thin and I don't get obese I fluctuate 30 pounds for the most part.

    BFL is a chance for me to be in great shape and not be "skinny fat" (a word I learned from this GB and I love it!).  I've always said as long as I am thin enough to fit in a size 4, I don't care what I look like in a bathing suit.  Well, I'm past that.  I want to be a shapely size 4 and rock a bathing suit.  So BFL is great for me.

    But there is still that person inside that loves food.  And not just a little here and there.  So, when I do go on my cruise, I do plan on eating like I always have before BFL.  I love to eat a great amount of foods and not think about fat or calories or anything.  I will continue to workout, as I always do, but BFL has not changed my mind on wanting eat whatever I want whenever I want once this challenge is over.

    Is this not a healthy attitude?  I know there are people that disagree with my way of thinking and that is fine too, we can agree to disagree, but are my thoughts bad? 

    I will get back on track after my cruise but to sit here and say I will never eat a huge breakfast buffet for breakfast, a cheeseburger and fries with a shake for lunch and tons of lasagna for dinner - ever again in my life just depresses me.  I know a lot of people wouldn't dream of endulging like I do, but my question is, even if YOU wouldn't is it baad that I do plan on endulging?  Is it mentally unhealthy to still have these thoughts?

  • I want to be a shapely size 4 and rock a bathing suit.  So BFL is great for me  Rosemary, I am a recovering alcoholic and if I could drink with no consequences I'd be on it like a hummingbird in heat. The thing about it is "If nothing changes nothing changes. If I keep doing what I've been doing I'm going to keep getting what I've been getting". In other words if you truly want that shapely size four then make the life changes that are necessary. For a social drinker yes it's fine for them to have a couple glasses of wine or a "few" beers. For me, "One is too many and a thousand is not enough". That first drink (or food indulgence) is what gets me because I am off to the races. If you have a problem with binging then it's really not about the "taste" of the food, it's about the euphoria it causes in your mind and body. Does the guilt come after it? For me it was like a cycle....drink...get drunk....experience guilt....drink to cover the guilt....more guilt added....drink to cover the more guilt.....etc etc etc. Anyway....I didn't mean to make this a 12 step meeting but it has just been my experience. I wish the best for you!!!


  • I can only speak for myself and what my mental direction has been. I was a VERY unhealthy eater prior to the challenge. There are still certain items that I enjoy on free day. I don't crave them during the week. I don't think I'll die if I don't have them. I enjoy the freedom of free day. However, I hate how I feel on Monday. I am glad that I partake in free day so that I can keep a constant reminder of the reaction my body has to foods.

    12 weeks into BFL and my head is in a really cool place. That future focused thinking has been embedded into my mind. I love the way my body feels healthier...not skinnier. The way I feel in my clothes or a bathing suit is simply a bonus. I am not trying to win a competition. I am trying to win at life. I am taking care of the body that God so graciously gave me whole and healthy. I owe my body respect. The human body is a beautiful thing. I find myself admiring, not envying, folks in the gym who have really beautifully toned bodies. Why? Because I know that they are very committed to their health. It takes a lot of commitment to maintain a beautifully toned physique.

    I now recognize food as fuel. Some foods that I would have never eaten before are on the top of my daily list. Why? Because I know they are good for me. I like healthy food because of what it does for my body. I don't slather anything in butter because it's harmful to my body and I have learned to appreciate the true flavor of natural food. I don't like eating foods that are loaded with preservatives either. I see food now for the nutritional value first...taste second. The idea of a cheeseburger (sorry for posting the word) is sometimes exciting. However, now when I have that thought I prefer to make my own with 93/7 lean ground beef so that I know that it is made in the healthiest fashion that I can make it. I love spaghetti! Now I make it with chicken and stew down my own tomatoes for the sauce.

    Bottom line...this too has been a mental learning experience for me. Until I crossed that abyss...it wasn't going to change. I had to really focus on keeping my goals in check for a long time. Now, my goals have been updated because the ones that I set are already habit.

    I love me enough to take care of me!

    Keep the faith!

    Faithful Renee :0)

  • Hi,  I agree that you have some food issues that you need to address on psycological level.  I don't have the experience to help you with that.  I can however, give you some great tips for enjoying your cruise and staying mostly with your plan.  The great part about a cruise is you do not have to make anything, their is a wide a variety to choose from and you do not have to eat it all.  Go ahead and get some of the foods that are not on your program, but just have a couple of bites.  Put them in your mouth and savor and enjoy them, then put the rest aside.  Try and fill up before each meal with a healthy soup or salad and wait 15 mins after finishing before going to the buffet.  You can still have a little bit of everything and you will be less likely to overindulge.

    Next tip is the SPA./GYM.  Most cruise ships I have been on have a decent gym and a nice spa area that you can use when you go to the gym.  On several cruise ships, the spa/shower/sauna/steam areas are great.  You can start each morning off with a good workout in the gym, then spend some time relaxing in the sauna or steam room area and afterwards take a shower in one of the spa showers.  Most I have been on have incredible showers with 4-5 shower heads that most people think you only get to use if you are doing a spa service, not true, anyone can use them.  This way you can have a mini spa retreat each morning and still allow yourself a few extra calories during the day. 

    You can enjoy your cruise, enjoy some not so healthy choices and have a relaxing spa experience.

    Have fun!





  • BETH - thank you so much for your response!  I sort of consider myself a "social eater" because I will go out and get "drunk with food" but it doesn't go on for days or weeks or months.  I might not even get "drunk" again for an entire month!  And guilt?  Heck no, I love it (eating like a pig!)  I feel guilt when I do it over and over.  I feel guilt when I say, "ok, eat this cinnamon buns ice cream, but tomorow eat cleanly."  And if tomorrow comes and I don't eat cleanly, THEN I feel guilt.  I make "deals" with myself which I know can be interpreted as "rationalizing" which to me is a dirty word.  Your answer was exactly what I was looking for. I feel if I go on this cruise and eat like I love too, as long as I'm back on track 100% when I get home, I will not feel guilt.  THAT is what I want to happen.  I'm very good at "maintaining" and if I binge on this cruise, as long as I do get it back off (the weight), I think I'm good.

    That kind of thinking is what is going to get me to the end of this challenge.  I say to myself, "If you get through this 12 weeks cleanly, you can reward yourself with eating at your leisure on the cruise."

    And if after 12 weeks I have a better "foundation of a body" then maintaining that or improving from there will be easier.  In your opinion is this good thinking?

  • Rosemary: I appreciate reading your heartfelt post, and I am replying with respect and honest compassion.  That must have been stewing inside, the questions and fears of what happens after - how do I adjust to life without a challenge ongoing. How can I manage to have fun away from home. We have all thought of that at some point. I certainly have.

    I believe you will achieve your goal when you are ready. You still have some strong "silent lovers" calling your name under certain circumstances and until you adjust or avoid, they will hamper your goal of size 4. That's just the way it is.

    Enjoy your cruise and when you get home, dig deep and evaluate how you are feeling about how your relationship with food affects the rest of you - your emotions, your sleep patterns,  your self love, your need to be genuine and honest - comfortable with you.

    Your post reflected a bit how I felt with wine in challenge 2. :) I get it, but in a different way, I have a different "silent lover" shall we say. For me, it feels good to overcome that false belief that something else other than me is needed to make me unwind, debrief and relax from a week of work.

    BTW - there is no "right" anwer for you, I am sure you know that. I hope a few people post for you and through somebody you find strength and clarity  - and then make it yours and run with it. You deserve it.

    PS: Beth - I appreciate your post too. Such a warm honest post reaching out for others.

  • .............. I find myself admiring, not envying, folks in the gym who have really beautifully toned bodies. Why? Because I know that they are very committed to their health. It takes a lot of commitment to maintain a beautifully toned physique................

    RENEE!! - That is exactly how I feel now. I have so many beutiful toned women on my wall my husband loves to come in here now to see me work out - and he checks out my wall! lol. They inspire me and yes I admire them SO much because now I GET IT - these wall goddesses work hard, eat clean and earned that body! WELL SAID MY FRIEND.

  • First to Renee's thoughts/question...seems to be the way she feels after free day...enjoying free day is something you are allowed to do...however..if the 'after' feeling is really bothering you then you have to decide which do you want to do..enjoy the food or hate the feeling. Perhaps a middle ground is to eat smaller portions of the free day food so you are not left with the bloated ikky feeling we can get after eating free foods. The mental focus seems pretty sound to me Renee.

    As to eating disorders, I am no expert and certainly can't give any medical advice. I will say though that there are a lot of folks that start BFL that have very unhealthy food relationships..from binging to simply not eating...those are two extremes. BFL teaches structured eating patterns to help us fuel our body in a healthy manner. Beyond that is the mental aspect of eating. If your relationship with food is a bad one, you will struggle in this area. This likely appears as a free day free-for-all binge followed by 'cleansing' in some form....or perhaps it will show itself by not eating a wide range of foods and only sticking to a very strict selection of foods..both views are not particularly healthy in the long run and indicate the person has deeper issues that need to be addressed.

    Rosemary your thoughts seem to me to indicate a 'diet' mentality when BFL should actually be considered a lifestyle.  If you go back to eating what you want when you want once the challenge is over, you will slowly but surely regain any weight you lost.  I've been on several cruises..and I enjoy the food as well...but my mentality is one of constant awareness...I can enjoy the stuff I want in small quantities so that I won't feel bad about it later. That's my theory anyway.  My mentality is that I have the freedom to eat what I want and when I want but with constant awareness and moderation. 90% of the time what I want is healthy stuff.

    Hope that helps,



  • I keep telling my boyfriend about the fruit buffets and how my mother LOST weight on a cruise she went on a few years ago because of all the wholesome healthy foods available.  When I set sail, I will be on active rest.  I was borderline for needing a second challenge, but at this point, I'm pretty confident that I will do a second challenge.

    BUT I want to go off my "eating for life" program.  One great reward in life to me is eating.  And like I said, I reward myself by eating cleanly for days at a time so that I can binge on my off days.  And I truly avoid guilt!  

    Now, on this program, I have in my mind that I am on a serously intense 12 week strict program to lose weight, and yes, even though a free day is authorized, I feel guilt on Monday sometimes.  Mostly because I told myself if I don't take 8 free days in this 12 weeks then I can take 8 free days on the cruise!  But that thinking didn't really make sense to me.  THESE 12 weeks are for the program and the cruise is a separate function.

    I think what I am worried about is that I am a "Functional" eating disorder sufferer.  Does that make sense?  If I can eat and eat and eat but maintain a healthy weight and physique (BFL laying that foundation of physique) by only binging occasionally, is that actually a VERY BAD HABIT?

  • Beth, I don't want to get on a personal level with you if you feel it is uncomfortable, but here is the main question I want answered.  My boyfriend is 15 years sober and he struggled with this so maybe you can help, if its not too personal.

    If you KNEW you could drink all you wanted to for 5 days a month and you've proven you could stay sober for the other 25 days, would that be ok with you?  Would that prove in your heart that you were not an alcoholic because you "chose" to drink for those 5 days because you "could" stay sober the other 25.

    I am so sorry if this question offends you, please understand that is not my intension.  This is why I love GB and the new forum.  I really struggle with questions in all aspect of my life.  On another note, answer this for

    If we on earth are spinning at 1,038 miles per hour (decreasing sometimes to 700) then how come when we look at pictures of earth from outspace, we seem to be standing still?  Why when we are on an airplane, off of the earth surface, we don't see earth spinning?

    See my crazy mentality that eats at me?????? LOL

  • Clarification of my free day ~

    It works for me. It won't work for everyone. I don't overindulge. I simply take some freedoms and don't focus soooo much on the structured meal plan of every 2-3 hours. Each free day throughout my journey has become less and less of an overindulgement. I don't believe that my free day options are going to work for everyone. I am simply speaking for myself. I have come to the point that food does not control me.

    Rosemary ~

    Review your comment. "BUT I want to go off my eating for life program. One great reward in life to me is eating. I reward myself by eating cleanly for days at a time so that I can binge on my off days." Why?

    Keep the faith!

    Faithful Renee :0)

  • Rosemary,

    Your question made me smile because I feel you struggling so hard when you already know the answer inside you :o) But.....to answer that question I can't because that has not been my experience. I have TRIED to drink like normal (social drinkers) people but to no avail. And I want you to remember this......people that don't have a problem with alcohol, food, sex, gambling etc. don't ask themselves if they have a problem. Why would they need to? My best wishes to you and I hope for you more than anything that you will take what these BFL family members have said about the "Inner" transformation and work towards that and I promise you the rest will follow.


  • AND THANK YOU for your wisdom. 

    I do need to work on my inner transformation.  Luckily, from eating the way we do on the program my appetite is smaller per meal.  I used to be able to eat 4 slices of pizza, no problem, but now I'm full after 2!

    You know, every single year for as long as I can remember, I would diet from Thanksgiving until Christmas.  Not ONE cheat.  Because I knew during Christmas I would eat tons and tons of goodies.  My parents always hosted Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so the supply of baked goods and meals were endless.  I would eat until I was sick, but I didn't really gain much weight because "I lost weight" in the weeks prior.  AND I knew the good ole January 2nd "diet" would whip me back into status quo.  but I guess that's all that is -- status quo. 


    Thank you again for your posts, for everyone's posts!

    Sure wish you could answer my question about the earth spinning though!?????? LOL!!!!!

  • Beth I loved your responses, especially the humming bird in heat one. That one made me laugh outloud and almost spewed coffee on my coworkers. Do hummingbirds actually go into heat or is that just mammals? Its an interesting question...

  • LOL I probably should have researched that first....not sure if they go into heat but I have watched them mate and talk about "what the heck just happened there Gertrude?" They are quite quick....LOL