Jason's Journey

  • My name is Jason. I actually completed BFL in October 2003 in preparation for my wedding date and was a trim 193 lbs. Since then I have gained 92 lbs and am now 285 lbs.

    I am professionally successful as I own my own rapidly growing business, personally successful as I have a wife I love and two amazing boys aged 8 and 5 that are my life. The one thing I can not conquer is my weight. I had three heart attacks on October 3, 2009 and that was still not enough for me to turn my life around. I don't want to die. I want to be a better husband and father. I'm constantly tired and lacking energy to even play with my kids. It's terrible.

    I act confident all day at work and lead people, then I go home and fight with extreme bouts of depression and eat my life away.

    I am starting tomorrow, Sunday April 21, 2013. I'm not sure if anyone will read this but this will be my own little journal on the journey I'm about to embark on. I'm excited and scared to death of failing. I can't fail!! I need to do this for my family and for myself.

    Talk to you soon.

     

  • Jason, congratulations on deciding to change your life for the better!  If you haven't already done so, your number one goal, or at least one of your goals should be to complete the challenge for your family and yourself.  Print it out and put it on the refrigerator.  Since you don't have problems professionally, I'm assuming you are financially stable.  Stock up on Myoplex, protein powder, and any other supplement you choose to use.  Have snacks available for yourself, should you get in a bind, and can't find time to get away for a meal (that's when Myoplex comes in handy).  You can do this.  Don't think of failing.  Think of how good you'll feel being able to play with your kids.  Not feeling so tired.  I always feel the hardest part of the challenge is the middle of it...around Weeks 4 through 9.  This is the time where the newness has worn off, but you're not close enough to the end to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Stay focused!  Read your goals continually.  Remind yourself how you felt before you started the challenge (because I guarantee, by week 4, you'll have a ton more energy than you do now), and tell yourself you can't go back to feeling that way.  You may not see the results you were hoping for immediately, but remember, it took you 10 years to put on those 92 pounds.  They're not going to come off over night.  But I bet you can get close to losing all of that weight within a years timeframe, and you'll feel a ton better after your first challenge.  I wish you the best of luck, and I look forward to reading your journal.

    Mike

  • Thank you so much Mike. That support means a lot to me.

  • Jason -

    Sorry in advance for being random and what might initially appear unsympathetic.  

    #1 - Your story motivates me by terrifying me.  I was 275 pounds a little under two years ago.  My goal is to be back at 175 on June 18th of this year, also, I'm short, 5'7" so it terrifies me even more.  The fact that you had three heart attacks and that you imply your weight and health were factors, again, motivated by being terrified.  

    #2 - I too am successful professionally, have been married to an amazing woman for 14 years, have two children, my son is 13 and my daughter 10.  They are the only reason I live today, and I'm not being dramatic.  Without them, I would have been nothing.

    #3 - I too suffer from bouts of depression.  It's hard for guys to admit it, but the fact that you hint at the double life you lead in public versus in private is very real and very serious.  

    I have two pieces of advice for you.  One is a quote, "I'm not saying it will be easy, I'm saying it will be worth it...."  Don't know who the author is.  Second piece of advice, dude, you are a ticking time bomb, I say it because I've been you.  If your story doesn't scare the hell out of you to get your a$$ moving then nothing will.  I beg you to be selfish about this, I beg you to make you #1 for the first time in a very long time and please, please, please, either start internal reflection or seek out some form of counseling or therapy of why you turn to food when you are happy, sad, time to celebrate, time to commiserate, bored, excited, etc, etc, etc.  All of this advice is for you, for free, from a guy who was on the verge of dying a couple years ago who had to tell himself these things because the people who loved him we're too scared to do it, they were enablers, they loved me the wrong way.  

    My email address is neil.bresnahan@gmail.com, you email me personally if you need to talk, vent, etc.  Side note, do a search for my posts, you'll see why I feel I'm qualified to say these things to you.  

    Semper Fi,

    Texas Brez

  • Jason -

    How have the first few days been?  Would love to hear from you as you redefine and recreate yourself!!!

    Semper Fi-

    Texas Brez

  • Texas Brez,

    Thank you so much for the kind words. I am sorry I didn't respond quicker. Man I gotta tell you your response really hit me and I think I may be thanking you one day. For you to take the time out of your day to send me that message really touched me and to be honest motivated me even more. So thank you again.

    As for the first couple days, so far so good. Perfect? No. But good. The only mistake I've made is missing a midday snack yesterday which made me really hungry at supper, I didn't over eat but I was way too hungry.

    Finding the time to work out is something I really need to focus on, I think I am going to try just scheduling it in my phone as a meeting. It's funny because if I had a meeting at 4 pm I would never be late or miss it, but if I plan on working out at 4 I talk myself into not going because I'm too busy. That will be my biggest hurdle I think.

    By the way, I saw your photos on your page, man you should be unbelievably proud of yourself!!! I look at that picture and I think of all the work you put in to get there and how great you must feel now. I want to feel that way again!! I want to look people in the eye when I talk to them again instead of lacking confidence, I want to be proud of myself again.

    When I told him I was going to work hard to get healthy my 8 year old son the other day said to me, "Dad, I like you just how you are." That is the type of thing that, believe it or not, used to make me quit because I know I'm loved no matter what by the people that matter most to me, but this time it made me want to work harder. I don't want to teach my kids my terrible habits anymore.

    So thanks again for the support and I am going to take some time tonight to familiarize myself with the site more and then I will be able to follow your journey on here as well!! Throw a little support your way also.

    PS: Can you tell me how to upload photos on here? I can't seem to figure it out. Thanks

  • Jason-  You're starting with a great attitude.  I love the fact that you are sharing this with your family (telling your 8yr old that you are going to work hard to get healthy).  Let them know how important it is to you, and why.  Encourage them to be motivators.  One of the biggest challenges I face is co-workers and friends asking why I'm eating chicken again, or why am I not drinking tonight.  Embrace it, tell 'em its because you've set a goal to get your health under control.  Encourage will come from everywhere!

    A couple of different way to upload photos.  First save them to your computer.

    If want to add them to a post, click "use rich formatting" under the reply box.  There is an insert image button (not all that intuitive).  You can browse out to your photo and insert it.

    To add them to your profile, click on your name at the top of this page or on top of one of your posts, then click my files.  There should be a button that says something like "add file."  You should be able to browse out to your photos and insert.

    This is from memory, but I think that covers the basics.

    Good luck Jason, don't ever hesitate to ask for help.

  • Jason –

    Sorry for the delayed response, been slammed with work and my own current challenge, number 5!  

    I’m glad what I said rang home, it truly was coming from a place care and concern, not malice.  I was very serious when I said I was in your shoes, I promise you it will be worth it.  Well, perfection is nearly impossible, but as Bill Phillips says, we are aiming for progress, NOT perfection.  I like your idea of scheduling the workouts.  I personally wake up extra early and do my stuff, the truth is I’m exhausted at the end of the day and I never know when I’m going to work late, for example, yesterday was a 13 hour day, I ate dinner over the sink, ran to the gym, did my cardio, wasn't finished until 10 pm….not the best way to end the day.  When I do it in the morning, doesn't matter what happens the rest of the day, I know I got my burn in.  

    Thanks for the nice words, yes, to an extent I feel very proud, however I’m so close to getting to my ideal weight that I still carry tons of humility, I don’t want to go back to what got me in trouble in the first place.  With your son, it kinda reinforces what I said before, our families tend to love us the wrong way, they want to protect us but in turn enable us.  I’m not saying he doesn't love you, you are his hero, but he doesn't understand that his hero can be here another 20 years or another 60….The 8 year old will choose to have Dad around forever if he got the choice, thus you know the right thing to do.  

    Where are you at right now, how has the first week been?  Have you had some small wins?

    Brez

  • Just remember remember mate first steps of any journey is as important as the finish line.

  • Hi bud. I am a firm believer in that god crosses certain peoples paths for very pod reasons. I usually only reply to one forumthat I've been apart of for 4 months but browsed a few extra and yours really touched my heart. Was reading down through and you have an amazing support team but I ask you to also check in with gladiators back in the arena. We just got back on 4/29 . They are soooo inspiring and I promise we will also make a huge difference for supporting you.please check it out. I wish u all the best. I lost my daddy 28 years ago to stomach cancer. I was only 9 years old and life has been very difficult thru many stages without him. Hard to see my mom live such a lonely life and growing up without a parent is he'll.. he got sick and was gone in 6 months and didn't have a choice.  You do and I wanna help u get healthy so you can grow old with your wife and be that daddy to your kids that I would do anything to have. You can do this. God bless u bud!!!!!!

  • Sorry for typing errors, I do this from my cell phone. Also I barreled depression, anxiety, and severe panic attacks for 3 years. I've beat it all so I would love to help u with that in anyway I can

  • You can do this!  I started out on 1/28/13 at 267.2lbs and lost a little over 30lbs during my first challenge.  I started challenge #2 on 4/29/13 and am making steady progress again.  All you have to do is follow the program and have a ittle will power and you'll have success!  We're all here if you need anything.

  • Jason -

    Where you at bud?  Was hoping you might update us on how things are going, how did putting your workouts in your calender go?

    Brez