I tried this program a year or two ago and did not follow it. Now, I am ready. I have been drinking almost everyday since I was 17 and now I am 40. I recently joined AA and have been sober for 5 days as of today. I am going to make 90 meetings in 90 days and start my Body For Life program on Feb. 1st, 2011. I am excited and ready to start! We are going to be measuring me and taking pictures tomorrow and then I will be ready to go!! I am scared and excited about the new me that will emerge, but I am going to stick with it this time. I am extremely emotional, I have mood swings and I am very edgy. I am hoping that by going to AA meetings and with working out, will help me to curb my emotions. I have not been loving life lately. The two weeks before I went to my first AA meeting, I was contemplating killing myself. The women at the AA group took me in, would not let me leave, and I am grateful for that. I know that sobriety will be hard, but I have to do it for myself, my children and my loving partner, Kelly (he is a man!!). We have had our ups and downs, but lately, in the past two - three years it has been mostly downs. I want my old self back, I want my soul back and I want my life back.
Congrats on starting the program! And congrats for starting AA. It's going to be hard, but YOU CAN DO THIS!!
I can do this...I will do this.
Ok - I got up this morning at 5:30am - something I never use to do while drinking. I would get up about 9 or 10. However, I got up, got on the treadmill and now I am making breakfast for my kids! Did the treadmill for only 15 minutes this morning because I am going to go to the gym with a friend after my noon AA meeting. Will be taking all my measurements today and pictures. Have a great and sober day!
This is good! I'm glad you've decided to change!!! Share your pics with us and check in daily, the group here is great and very supportive.
Ok - sober for 7 days now and starting my program today! I woke up at 3am to a house alarm down the street - didn't get back to sleep until about 5 and them up at 6 for the kids - what a night.... Kelly will be taking my pictures today and I will upload them into the program. I have a champion from Body For Life 2008 training me on Wed and Fri's. Thank you Hasam and Cajun (my family is from Rayne - heard of it?)
I am suppose to workout with a friend today at the Y - but the storm is about to be here - so I will not be going there this morning!! I do not feel as well this morning as I have the past few days, but I will survive.
I need to get more butter extract flavoring - I found that it cuts out all the calories and fat but still gives you that great butter taste !! I have also supplemented my vitamins with Gaba. It is a great mood enhancer as well as a muscle builder and natural growth hormone. When my kids found that out - they started taking it also! One if them is a little short for his age - so I give him a little bit more -but don't tell him! Hehe
I wrote my article for the newspaper last night so I am ready for most things today. I wrote this weeks article on Gaba because it is such a great amino acid like substance. Do not know what to write next weeks on yet - it will come to me. I am still 155 today I hope that with getting up so early and starting my day off this early will help me to loose the weight also. Will keep y'all posted.
Oops - sober for 6 days! Messed up there ! Oh well, you all know what I mean. It hasn't been that hard with cutting out the drinking yet. It will get hard when friends start calling me for poker at Shanis or pool. Or lunch with the girls. Or during the summer,when we take out the boat, we always have 2 ice chests , the big one for beer, the little one for kids drinks and food. That will be hard, I think. However, my life has spun such out of control the past few years that I would be crazy to go back to drinking. The alcoholics mind plays tricks on me though - it might tell me that it is ok to have just one or two which might happen at first, but it would probably lead to having 10 or 12. I use to be proud of the fact that I could drink everyone under the table. Now I know that it was a sickness, it was just a way to cope that wasn't working. It has messed up so many relationships, with men and women. It cause me problems beyond what anyone should ever endure. As I said, so far it hasn't been that hard. If I keep writing about it, then I think that is the best way to go. If I keep writing about it, I will remind myself of the way it was and how selfish it was. If I keep writing about it, hopefully I won't drink. God Bless.
First, congratulations. Good work. I think I'll join you. My son, 13, has begun lifting weights and I showed him the site. Then I showed him the pictures of the 'Success Stories'. He was shocked. Then I started looking at the pictures. Then I happened across your post. I'm 45, 237. I need this. Like you, I've been drinking a long long time. Not heavily, but consistently. And I live in Maryland, and travel to Texas for work each week, making working out complicated. But if you can do it, I can to. Lets stay in touch.
Ok Pete - we can do this together!! I have two sons, ages are 12 and 10 - so we also have that in common! Let's do it! And anyone else who wants to join can join us!
Today was a very good day. I got a friend out of some trouble and I went to an AA meeting at 12 noon. I also had lunch at our new sushi place.
In the meeting today they talked about step 4 and 5 in AA. Those steps mean you have to (4) Write down an inventory of all people you have hurt due to your drinking and (5) Tell someone else all of it and God. I have not done this yet - since my sobriety date was 1/26/11, but I will start soon. I don't even want to think about that! I know that I haven't exactly "hurt" my family in any physical way, but I am sure that emotionally and mentally I might have. I know that I have hurt myself so many times. That will be the easy one. I have high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, and am approx 30 -35 lbs overweight. I have hurt myself emotionally, financially, and a whole plethora of other ways. I would really need to take a good look at myself to figure it all out. But now, being sober, I will be able to. It is going to be hard being really honest about this with another human being though. That seems so scary to me. To put it all out there and share all the demons with my sponsor???? YIKES!! I have hurt so many people since I was 17, I don't even remember everyone's name! I remember the most important though, I guess that will do, and some situations that I would have never been in if I wasn't drinking. It is going to be hard being brutally honest, but I can do it. If it keeps me from going to a bar and taking another drink, then I would gladly do that. Because that drink for me turns into a 12 pack or more. I just can't stop whenever I start. And then I wake up all tired, not wanting to take care of my family, myself, or my problems and then they start multiplying. And then, I get up and do it all again. That is insanity!!! I have tried to stop on my own, and I can't. I hope I am not babbling - some people do call me babbling Brooke - I just need to talk sometimes and I find it easier to write.
I am about to go and do my treadmill for 30 minutes and tomorrow I am working out with Tracey - the 2008 winner of Body For Life - she is going to kick my butt!! In a good way!
Good luck Brooke and Pete. Keep fighting every day.
2010 Grand Master Champion
Ok - I did my 20 minutes of Cardio this morning - not the way that Body For Life suggests, just yet. I am trying to get use to doing it first. And I don't know what the 5 6 7 8 9 etc.. means just yet. I will ask Tracy that today when she works me out. She is working me out on the lower today and the on Fri the upper. I guess I need to got and get a Body For Life Book - bc I don't have one! I need to read and learn about it more in depth, I can read about it on the internet, but I need a book.
Getting ready to go to my AA meeting at Noon. My sponsor is leading the meeting today. Did I tell y'all I got a sponsor? I don't think so. I got my sponsor on the very first day I walked into AA on the 26th of Jan, 2011. One week ago today! We are going to learn alot from each other. I have to call or text her every morning and the same every evening. It keeps me accountable. I have never had a sponsor before. If I would have gotten one the last 5 times I went to AA, then I might have stayed sober the 5 times over the last 20+ years that I have tried going to AA. It just scared me. I could have saved my self from every imaginable problem that has plagued me to this point. Oh well, I have to stop living in the past and live for today and make the rest of my life count. One day at a time!
brooke1122 - This will hurt your BFL challenge:
"Oops - sober for 6 days! Messed up there ! Oh well, you all know what I mean. It hasn't been that hard with cutting out the drinking yet. It will get hard when friends start calling me for poker at Shanis or pool. Or lunch with the girls"
I'm not sure what to say here but you may have to cut out lunch with the girls and poker in order to succeed. If you go to a poker game or hang out with your friends- YOU WILL DRINK.
What exactly do you drink? for me it was beer and when I started C1 I completely cut out beer from my life, and I'm what people call a 'party guy' - I can beat anyone at beer pong LOL. My last beer was on 11/22/2010- yes a date I remember.
My drinking is now only on cheat day and of course no beer- I stick to red wine... people can't believe it but I had to change...
What do you think?
Hi Hasam, you read my post a little bit wrong. I said that what am I going to do when they ask me to do those things! It is going to be hard on me, but with AA I am going to make it through. And I am into a very non-judgmental state right now, so if you can have a cheat day with red wine then go for it! I know that I can not though. I will be right back to where I started from 8 days ago, drinking the whole bottle of wine in the evenings or a whole 12 pack of beer. I know that I can not drink. I am going to AA meetings and learning that I can not drink. If I do, then I will be right back there again. Our house has been known as the party house, everyone comes over and brings something to drink, we sit out on the back patio and drink. And we drink heavily, for the last 8 years, since we moved to this subdivision. It has been fun, a blast!! However, whenever my life started falling apart around me, and my family was seeing me not wanting to do anything during the day and drinking every night, then I knew it was a bad problem for me. If you can drink a couple once a week, then that's great, but I can't. Believe me, I wish I could. I wish I could drink like my mother, one or two glasses or one or two beers or one margarita. When I start, I don't stop; not until I go to sleep or pass out on the couch. And I can not live my life that way anymore. It is not cool! I envy you if you can do that!! Good luck though on you challenge and keep in touch!
Ok - I just got back from the gym with Tracy - and my lower body is killing me right now!! I feel great, but she worked me out hard!! I told her how bad I wanted it and she want's it just as bad for me also. I am so blessed to have her in my life, she is such a giving and kind person. She won the 2008 for her division, and she still has kept it off! That is where I want to be. I told her that I can be her poster child for her new business (training people), that is how bad I want it. She now will be training me 3 days a week, at least for the first month, probably after one month I will hire her for the second, I mean who am I kidding?? LOL But she really kept my heart rate up and I can't wait until Fri!!! I will be doing the treadmill before dinner tonight and if I feel like journaling then I will.
Up at 5:30 getting the kids off. I may have to take them to the bus stop it is so cold! We might have snow tomorrow!! That will be fun. Down here in southern Texas we never get snow! The kids will love to make snowmen! Made me a mixed berry yogurt smoothie for breakfast... mmmm good! I must have lost a little weight with all the workouts I have done and all the changes in my diet! I am not going to weigh myself though. I want to be surprised next time I step on a scale. I don't want to be depressed!!
Up at 5:30. Good for you. Me? Not so good.
Where I struggle is with my evenings. During the day, I manage my eating great. Eating every 3 hours. Small portions, etc. Nights just seem to kick my ass. The part of me that really wants to get this done simply vanishes. Last night, after my son's lacrosse game, we stopped at Glory Days (Like a TGI Fridays), and ordered cheese fries, and I had a couple beers. Came home and had a couple buka shots.
That really seems to be the issue with me. Always has. Days are great. Nights just suck. Maybe I'll post this to the main forum and see what folks have to say.
Brooke - I get your demons, and not wanting to air them. Secrets are secret for a reason. It might really help if you take a different point of view. I would imagine that if a stranger or an acquaintance, in a crowd, reached out and grabbed one of your breasts, you would about freak. As you should. Highly inappropriate. However, if you were at home, and felt a lump, you wouldn't think twice about having a doctor do a full check up. My kid sneezes on me without covering his nose.....nasty, and he's going to hear about it. But, if my boy has a raging puke bug and needs holding over the toilet.....not a second thought. There are times where it *is* appropriate to set aside all of you personal noise and chatter to work with a stranger if it saves your life.
I am certain that your sponsor has heard much of what you'd say from someone else. Much like your doctor has seen breasts before. They dont' get to have their job if they haven't, right? Secrets, or as you say, "Demons" are poisonous - every bit as much as that lump in your breast could kill you if you were to treat is as a 'secret' because you didn't want an exam from a stranger. Just set it all aside, open your mouth, and let the demons out.
Yes Pete - it was at night when I became the alcoholic also. I didn't really drink during the day - about 4:30 or 5 is when I had my first beer or glass of wine. Now I am supplementing that with Chamomile Teas, Licorice Teas, etc... Any of the teas that are relaxing.I also supplement with Gaba and Hops. Gaba and hops calm the body down, they are really good for people with addictions. I am not sure if you think you have a problem or not with drinking? If you can't stop long enough to do the Body For Life program, then you might have a problem. You have to get honest with yourself on that one. And thank you for your comments on the Demons - those are great reminders. I am just not ready yet to share - they are mostly about my hcildren - and forgetting to do things for them or just not doing things for them that I can;t talk about right now.
Ok... I printed of Tracey's treadmill workout and did it last night. It is for 30 minutes at different speeds and different heights.
What?? Is Tracey triying to kill me?? LOL - Just kidding, but I could only make it for 10 1/2 minutes!! I will do better tonight - but I still am so sore from our workout on Wed - hardly can move!! I can hardly laugh!! She worked me out good.... And today at 1:30 again!! I have her for 3 days a week starting next week. I will do this!!!
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