Afraid of failure?

  • I am a former BFL'er and I know that this program works! 

    I maintained a size 2 after having children for several years of adhering to this program.  I am not really sure what happened....I suppose it wasn't just one life event, but I have somehow "quit" doing the program and I am now 30lbs heavier going from a size 2 to a size 10 in the last 2 years. Depressed, overweight and completely out of control.....that's how I feel everyday when I get out of bed.  No one should have to endure this type of mental anguish.

    I am excited about starting the program again....and I say "again", because in the last 2 years I have probably started the program over a dozen times failing after week 2-3 and sometimes even as early as week 1.  Looking back over the most recent failed attempts, it seems that I am ill-prepared.  I am trying something different during this attempt.  I am spending an entire week just getting ready for the challenge:  Writing out my store list, finding new recipes, journaling and figuring out why I can't seem to stay motivated.  Its is it that I lived the BFL program for years, but now I am struggling on trying to get started?

    Anyone else out there in this same situation? Any advice on getting through the first month?  My journey starts July 26th, 2010.


  • Maybe this time you need to make YOU the priority.

    I bet you treat others better than yourself....just a hunch.


  • What do you mean by failing? If you miss a workout or eat bad for a day do you just give up? Once you start just keep going no matter what road bumps you might cross along the way.


    I had the same issue from march till june this year with restart and not finishing challenges.

    “"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out..." - Robert J. Collier”

  • Stacy - I know how you feel.  I have never done BFL before, but I am at a point where I am the largest I have ever been in my life.  I had always been a curvy size 6 to 8, but over the last several years a have slowly blown up to a 12 with 35 extra pounds on board.  I am so unhappy with my body that it is really starting to affect my life.  My very supportive (and needing to loose some weight too) husband decided that we should try losing weight together.  We started by just eating healthier food and going the gym at least 3 times a week and got nowhere.  About a month ago we decided to try Atkins because of the recomendations of several friends who had success.  We were RELIGIOUS with Atkins for a solid months and didn't lose a single pound.  It was so depressing.  My husband and I decided that we had to stop, not only were we worried about the volume of fat we consumed, but it was costing a fortune to eat on Atkins.  Also, I almost cried when we went to a friend's house for dinner and I couldn't eat 90% of what they had made because of the restrictions on Atkins (including the AMAZING looking layered cake).  All in all, we knew we needed to do something that was a lifestyle change, not a fad.  We decided we needed to try BFL, and I am really looking forward to it.

    I am doing the same thing you are, taking this week to get familiar with everything, read the books, make my shopping list, learn the workouts, etc.  My husband and I will be starting Monday the 26th, and although I am nervous, I am also excited.  I fiind that the more prepared I am, the easier it is to stay motivated.  I am a little obsesive about list making and planning, and even if something doesn't go as planned, I usually have several back ups to go to.  If you want someone to write to during your journey, let me know.  The more buddies we have, the better!  Good Luck !


  • Stacy,

    Boy do I know where you are coming from.  I did BFL like 10 yrs ago.  Went from a size 18 to size 10.  I love it.  I kept up the workout out and just kept letting my food slip and slip and slip until I was doing all this workout and and couldn't figure out how I had but all the weight back on.  One day I got on this forum and was reading how everyone was encouraging everyone and helping keep everyone motivated and accountable.  That day I decided I was going to start my 12wks and I wasn't looking back, I was going to finish it no matter what.  Well I just finish last Sat and I am so proud of myself that I finally made it thru with out stopping and starting over or worse yet stopping and not starting again.  Come here often, talk about what you are going thru.  The people on this forum are wonderful and they are what got me thru this 12 wks. And I am so looking forward to starting the next 12 wks.

    "If you mind can conceive, you can achieve it

  • What the Heck Syndrome – Throwing It all Away!

    by: Michael Harris  2/19/08

    Many of you are in about this time in your challenges. I think this "rerun" from March 2007 may help. Today, we’re going to briefly deal with what I think is the most dangerous part of the first transformation, the middle weeks.

    About weeks 5 to 8, somewhere in there, you will encounter the "what the heck" syndrome. How you deal with it will determine the course and outcome of the rest of your challenge. Here’s how it works. You’ve seen good results to this point, maybe nothing spectacular, but your clothes fit looser, people have noticed, you feel stronger and lift more, and your diet has been pretty much by the book. You’re feeling confident and more. Then, here it comes: "Honey, you’re looking great, and that big wedding reception is coming up next week. Would you do me a big favor and just try to eat and act normally while we’re there? You deserve a little break–you’ve worked so hard!" A smile, and a "pretty please" squeeze and he or she walks away.

    You bite. At the wedding reception, it’s cake and ice cream, a few beers, a couple of handfuls of nuts, and so on. What the heck–you’ll burn it off in the early morning cardio. And you hit the cardio hard. But you hit free day which comes up very quickly even harder. Sleeping in after free day felt pretty good, and you’ll be back on that routine before they know it. This begins a spin from which some never recover.

    Well, this is just an example, and the what the heck syndrome can take many other forms. A very sad event that just begs you to eat and drink over it. A really joyous event that just has to be celebrated. So, what’s wrong with that? Can’t I enjoy life, you say? WELL, my question to you is, "What does risking all the work you’ve done so far, in exchange for some really unhealthy eating actually have to do with the enjoyment of life?? If this is how the rest of your life after your challenge is going to be, you don’t stand the proverbial snowball’s chance in Hell of keeping your weight off and staying conditioned.

    The appropriate response to the "what the heck" opportunity is simple. Act like you’re enjoying yourself, and you no doubt will. If you can’t handle the peer pressure, grab a glass of diet soda, put a few little food treats on a plate and walk around talking to folks. Mess up the treats, and then at the first opportunity put the plate down, or hand it to a waiter, and walk away. You’ll feel better, and really, no one who matters to you will ever notice the difference. You will, though, because you won’t be waking up the next morning feeling like a bird slept in your mouth!

    Having fun and acting normal at foodfests, without becoming a victim of the gluttony, takes practice but can be done! If you don’t master this, even if your challenge goes smoothly, the rest of your life is going to be a bumpy road! When I was first learning how to be a recovering alcoholic, I worried to death about how to decline a drink when offered one. My sponsor told me to simply say, "No thanks, I’ve had plenty!" And it was certainly no lie either. It worked. The only people who still tried to push drinks on me were people who needed the program I had just been in. It’s no different with food. The ones trying to get you to stuff yourself are doing it due to their own issues, not yours!

    Eat, drink and be merry–on free days! On other days, be merry! Don’t let anyone steal the prize out from under your nose.

  • Maybe, not after one day...but my 1 missed workout or 1 bad meal seems to last 3 or 4 days!  I then get discouraged and want to restart all over again.  I am determinined not to let that happen again....I have never subscribed to the blog in the past, so maybe it is encouragement from others that I need in order to make it over the "hump". :)

  • Well, Legs.....

    I work in Psychiatry.  I spend my entire day trying to help, your discernment is right on....I know I am worth it, I just need to get over that first hurdle, which I consider to be the first 4 weeks.  Encouragement from others may just be the key that I am missing......

  • We def need to keep in touch since we are starting on the same day!

  • Taylor...don't I know it?  I started following Bill Phillips in the early 90's.  I still have the first BFL challenge recorded on VHS!  It is probably worth some money

    Good Luck and keep in touch!


  • Stacy - Been there done that too. :-)  The only thing I can add is what worked for me and that was being on the forum (guestbook).  Once I actively posted everyday and participated in helping others, it got easier.  For once I finally finished a 12 week challenge and I've been doing challenges ever since.  Just jump in and read around the forums and offer what you know.  It will help motivate you as you read the successes of others and you will help those who struggle.

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • firebatongirl,

    One of the sections in the BFL journal is Focus on Progress not Perfection. We all make mistakes or do something we shouldn't have. It is part of being human and we all do it. If we miss a workout or eat a peice of cheesecake fine it happened. Leave it behind and keep moving forward. Nobody is perfect.

    Say you eat something one evening that you shouldn't have. Instead of letting that action derail you for a few days focus on the positive things you accomplished. Maybe you had a great workout that morning or maybe you avoided an "unauthorized" food earlier in the day.  By focusing on the positive things we do each day and the forward progess we make we wil reach our goals and be successfull!!  

    You can do this!!!

    Stay in touch on the forums. There are many great people here and lots of support and encouragement.


  • Stacy: I work in Health care too....

    You are smart and know what to do, because you share that with your clients.

    Posting and being accountable here will help you. Nobody here is perfect, but we sure help each other along daily.

    It's nice to meet cha!

    One day at a time. :)

  • Just finishing week 1 of my first challenge and definately insecure about not finishing another 11 weeks. I am trying to just get throught to the free day...

    reminds me of running a marathon. The large mileage seemed overwhelming but when I mentally broke the race down mile by mile it didn't seem as overwhelming anymore.

    Honestly, still hungry, though!

    Would really love to have a big warm brownie! BUT I WON"T!

    RunningMom... "run like hell and get the agony over with"

  • Well Ime xcited and happy !!!!!!!!!!!My name is Elizabeth I just joined Im new brand new just got into the program Im not signed up yet tough Im trying to get the paperwork done I ahvnt evn read the book I just got it though so i just got here BTW its nice to meet you.