Just about to begin!! Feedback and Support Needed

  • I just read the book and am about to begin. From what I have read I can gain confidence in myself and some esteem by following this program. I have been to numerous seminars, self-help books - ad infinitum. Bouts of depression anxiety - loss of self are present.

    All I desire is to feel good about myself. Love myself. Have esteem and confidence. I remember reading in the book about those who have had despression and felt lost i life.. There is some doubt / resistance on my end. I am in a comfort zone of hell and must change.

    I would appreciate feedback from the community that I can help myself by doing this program and it will lift me up and out so that I can feel alive again.

    The book aslo talked about setting goals. Right now the only goal I can think of is getting my body back into shape and feling better. I just can't seem to access intuition, exciitement and joy where goals and dreams come from.

    Please i need you support.

    Bruce - brroyer@cox.net

  • Hey Bruce lets do it.  Im 36 and EXHAUSTED!  I dont do anything to earn it either.  Saw myself in the mirror while getting dressed last week and i was shocked at how different that was from the picture in my head.  I honestly dont even know when that happened.  Im 5'2" and probably sit around 160, 165. Crap i cant believe im telling you this.

    I want to NEVER see that mirror again.  I want to enjoy clothes shopping.  I want to get dressed without an hour long,  expert-level exercise in camouflage.  I want to walk more than 1 block without needing a breather.

    I dont want to change.  I dont want to give up my comfort foods.  I dont want to go to the gym.

    But im going to because my WANTS are finally stronger than my DONT WANTS.  i need support too.  I answered you because you sound like a real person.  Im pretty freaked out myself but im determined.

    Maybe we should love and like ourselves "just the way we are".  I havent managed that,  so here i go. I think we can do this.  This isnt for gym rats or people who live on their mountain bikes.  This is for real people,  for us.  People with lives and doubts and bills to pay.  This is what we need bruce and this time....  Lol watch out!

    Ok cheerleading session over,  hon.  Good luck,  hope to talk to you soon.

  • Good for you Bruce for choosing to change. I am in week 3 and already seeing results. The best piece of advice i can give you is plan, plan, plan.

    There are lots of rah! rah! thing that could be said, but really you need to KNOW why you want to get your body back in shape in a way the really speaks to you. For me it was the thought that if I continued along doing nothing different I could die without having lived the life I want for myself. I understand the depression, anxiety - loss of self bit more than you know, but I have dreams of a life for myself that I see in my mind. I still don't know how I will get to the place I want to be, but for now this is the first part of the journey and i am doing this for myself.

    Good Luck -- I will check back to see how you are doing.

  • Sandy. thanks sweetheart. I am planning today!! Lots of love.....Bruce Feel free to call if you like.....!! Please stay in touch....

  • Alright people get it going! Bruce find that motivation ask yourself why you want to change find the reason why you feel the way feel it takes alot of searching but when you do find it hold on to it and use that to get you going everyday.. Stay on task and before you know it habits will form and you will find yourself just doing it instead of telling yourself to do it.. I wish you the best..

    CassCass I really liked your post the pain of staying the same is finally greater than the pain of change.. we all have lives and problems to deal with.. getting to that gym .. leaving it all there will make you feel so much better.. especially once you start to see the changes happening then o boy look out :) I wish you both the best.. no get out there and be like nike.. JUST DO IT! :) ALOHA

  • Just take the first step, plan and move.  After you start, the realization that you are moving in the right direction will continue to motivate you.  At least that is how it is working for me.  Every day I wake up I initially want to stay in bed or lounge on the couch and sip my coffee, then I remember where I was, where I am, and where I want to be.  You have to make that priority.  I am a bit obsessed about BFL right now, but I have to be to continue down this path.  Do what you have to do to keep motivated.  You can do this - you just have to find the want within.

  • OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!  Day one - upper body.  Is it wierd that the part that hurts the most is my elbows?  Lol guys this was amazing!  Know why i hate going to the gym?  Cuz im fat!  Skinny chicks and ripped guys eyeballing me like mud on legs.  Makes me nuts.  BUT!!!  I was totally self-conscious going in yesterday.  Even warmed up by myself in the hall.  5 minutes in,  Martians could have landed and i wouldnt have noticed. Lol totally forgot everything but form and effort.  When i left,  i knew i had done an amazing workout.  Couldnt push my hair back!  Lol high as a kite too.  Had to use two hands to get my water bottle to my face and giggling like a loon about it.

    Today...  Pain.  But i really dont mind.  Every time I have a particular twinge, I remember how I got it and it makes me grin.  Bruce- youre looking for self-worth?  How about every single day blasting out a great workout and your body telling you what a great job you did every time you move?  Lol obviously my body isn't improved yet,  but my mind already is.  Crazy!

    Sandy,  island-dude...  Mahalo guys.  For years ive tried to guilt myself into taking better care of myself and it turned into a vicious catch-22 of comfort food and self-pity.  Youre totally right...  Its a step by step,  logical process.  I started out for health but this feeling is insane.  I cant wait to hit the gym today!  Does this last?  I dont mind if its a honeymoon period,  but i would like it to stick around!  Lol

    One other question.  Is it ok if i dont want to post before pics?  I really dont want anyone to see me in a bikini,  even you guys.  In fact i dont even own one.  Lol id have to buy something to take my before pics in.

  • Bruce, by week 4 you are going to be so impressed with yourself that it will motivate you to keep going.

  • Thank you Brenda...you mention the following "and where I want to be" Right now I am not sure of where I want to be.....will that come with improved mood caused by diet and exercise??

  • you mention the following "and where I want to be" Right now I am not sure of where I want to be.....will that come with improved mood caused by diet and exercise??

  • I can only speak for me, BruceR.  When I started I knew I did not want to be where I was, as I have completed each week I have a better sense of where I want to be - with each week I want more.  Today begins week 7, and I struggled this morning but I got up and got moving.  I was proud afterwards.  In truth you have to want to change your life, it takes absolute commitment to make such a drastic change (I started at 198 lb) - without commitment there is no way to complete 12 weeks, let alone 24 weeks I require.  Its all on you.

  • I guess what I am asking is this helped lift you out of some darkness and into more light, ispiratioin, joy etc. etc..where you atrted to feel better about your self. and started to have more esteem. And deserving and that you gained some momentum in your life where there was none before.

  • Cass...how are you doing!! Lets team up on this!!

  • I love all you guys.....Thank you for the continued support!!

  • Hi BruceR

    It sounds like you need to deal with the depression at least as much as the body changes.  There are a number of things you can try.  Yes, aerobic exercise at least 3 or 4 times a week will help, but it takes a couple of months of it.  Staying away from caffeine in all forms (coffee, tea, chocolate, soft drinks).  Hanging around with people who are cheerful and happy, and staying away from people who piss you off!  Getting out into the light in the morning.  Listening to or watching anything that makes you smile.  Laughter is better - it releases mood-enhancing hormones into the gut.  Have a favorite comedy star/team?  Get the DVDs for home and the CDs for the car.  You can also go to the doctor for an antidepressant.

    Please take good care of yourself!

    Mary