Left Behind

  • If I said that I was new to the BFL program I would be a liar. Back in 2007 I did the program and enjoyed great success. My wife and I both did. We were getting mean and lean and enjoying the new attitude and popularity that brings with it. Then the unimaginable happened, my father-in-law passed away at his home. He was probably the best man I have ever known in by life. But he was severely overweight and never exercised. His daughter, my wife, was the closest to him of his three daughters. We lived a block away from them and enjoyed his company often. Well instead of that giving us motivation to get fit even more it did the opposite. We stopped going to the gym and began to revert back to the way of eating that made us fat to begin with. Well this being said, my wife finally came around to the point were she could not continue down the same track so she did something about it. She had a gastric lapband procedure and lost 100lbs very quickly. But as some of you know with rapid weight loss comes some extra lose skin and fat that cannot be removed by exercise no matter how hard you try. As for me I pretty much hovered around the 265 range for this period of time. I would go to the gym maybe once a week and then stop. My eating was horrible, pizza, mexican food, well anything and everything that was bad for me. Well now i weight around 285lbs. Here recently my wife switched gears on me and started going to the gym everyday, I mean everyday, sometimes twice a day. She has a group of lady friends that meet here up there and they go to all the classes. I go to the gym sometimes, and workout alone on the machines, free weights and cardio equipment. But for some reason I just cant get excited about it. Now to top it all off my wife underwent cosmetic surgery to remove all the excess skin and fat and had a *** augmentation. WoW she is gonna look fantasic. She was already a knock out before, but now, man o man. But that is where my delima starts getting hairy, I want so much to motivate myself to get fit, stop thinking about the past success and failures that i have had. I have all the knowledge and tools to do what i need to, but jumping over that wall of self doubt and loathing is hard. I have always been very competitive, but i don't want to compete with her i just want to be with her. I turned 40 this year and she is 35. I want so much to get back to that slim guy she loved and admired so much. We used to talk about "07 us, now it is just "her". Most of our friends are fit athletic people and feel like the overweight one of the group. I know this sounds like a pity party,and it is, but I have to find a way of moving past this and finding my own path. I don't want to be the one left behind.

  • BigOman...So GO FOR IT!!! Start tomorrow! Make a commitment to yourself and to your wife that You will make the change for the better! Look what she has done for you!! Give her a gift as well!

    Come to this site for encouragement and inspiration and let us know how you are doing. We don't want you left behind either! We want you on that fast track to a healthy body. SO, GET TO THE GYM TOMORROW and START WORKING ON THE NEW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    All my best!! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • bigOman,

    This forum is a great place to get support and encouragement.  What we can't do for you is motivate you to start taking the steps.  Only you can get out of your current funk and start "catching up" if you feel "left behind."  

    You may think the task too daunting and not start at all because it will be a long journey for you.  Guess what?  It starts that way for everyone.  The cool thing is that once you start eating for nutrition and getting exercise, you motivation steamrolls as you start to see even the slightest progress.  You know this from your past experience.

    So with tough love all I can say is get up off your butt and get to work.  We'll be here.

  • "Do you want to wish you had or be glad you did!!"

    All the best.....

    fit4life "The dream must be bigger than the pain"

  • Dear Big-O-Man,

    I read your post earlier today, and was ready to respond w/ vigor and motivation, but I had to think carefully of what I say because words do have power when backed by feelings.

    So while at church today, I added you to my prayers and asked for guidance on how I could help:     Here is what impressed upon my mind

    No more Hate......Just Tough Love

    This might strike a chord and touch your inner self and I hope it does.  But before you get angry and curse the dickens out of me and say, Who the hell are you?"  I would like to at least introduce myself, so "Who the Heavens am I?"

    Just a simple guy trying to better himself.  I started this challenge because I just didn't like myself anymore.  I'm 37, still single and slowly I watch my life starting to fade before my eyes.  I've never been married (had a few good opportunities to do so) but really it's not about finding someone, but more of finding myself.  Yes there is a girl in my midst, but the real question is, How could I fully give my love to someone if I can't fully love myself?

    So that is what I am doing, working on myself to be ready to give that love to another.  I am preparing to be a Man

    Here is what I'll share with you.......are you listening?   Straighten up, head high, back arched, deep breath, eyes forward

    Excerpts from what you Wrote:

    "I want so much to motivate myself to get fit"    - Do you?  or are you just saying that as something to say.  Until you back these words with personal actions and feelings, they just remain that....words

    "....but I don't want to compete with her, I just want to be with her."  

       Lock up the male ego's natural drive to compete.  There is no need to compete with her, or for her.  You'll need to compete against yourself, right here and right now.  Not with the 2007 person of you,but just the you of yesterday.  Can you Today be a better man than you were yesterday?  If you try to compete against your 2007 self, then you do a disservice to 2008 of you, 1997 of you, 1986 of you, 1973 of you.    ALL those previous years combined have brought you up to this point.  That every circumstance from the time you were born has made you who you are today, for better or worse.   The first step is acceptance, the next step is growth.        You are already with her.  You feel like you are losing her because she is changing and you feel you are not.  You aren't growing.    In the natural world of things, you either grow or you die!   Take one good deep breath.....yup you aren't dead, YOU ARE ALIVE!!!!   and as long as you are still alive, you must do one thing....that is to grow.

    So change this statement to read ......I am not trying to compete with my wife.....I want to GROW with her.   Honey...will you help me and allow me to grow with you?

    "  I just turned 40 this year...."    Warren Buffett is turning 80 and Hugh Heffner is 84.  I don't see them showing any signs of slowing down, so how can a young man like you at age forty start to slow down.  Take a breather break and a time out, but let's not give up.  Think about it, if you were to die today ( and spiritually and mentally you already have), it would still take you another full lifetime to be as old as WB and your lifetime plus 4 years to reach Heffner's age!  So CRUSH the old you and challenge yourself to see what the next 40 is going to bring!!!

    Colonel Sanders was 65 when he started Kentucky fried chicken.   S-i-X-T-Y F-I-V-E!!!    So how you do know you aren't going to do something miraculous or make a huge impact to society at age 65 yourself?  You will never know if you quit now.  It's best to be ready for a challenge when you are physically, but also mentally fit as well.    I would suggest, if you have one in your neck of the woods, go to a Kentucky Fried Chicken and indulge in some chicken, not for a food binge, but more symbolic reasons.   Colonel Sanders at age 40 was cooking chicken and serving to others in Corbin Kentucky.  25 years before he saw his vision through.   So you my friend....what kind of courage and audacity do you have to accept a real challenge?  You got time?  Can you do 12 weeks as a start?

    "I want so much to get back to that slim guy she loved and admired so much"    I'll let you in on a little secret.   It wasn't the slim guy that she fell it love with.  It was that cocky- confident man, filled with energy that believed anything was possible.   She fell in love with that energy that makes you only you.   Find it deep within you to let that light shine through your inner darkness.   It's there I promise you, it's there.  Many a man have walked that path.  Find it within you and shine that energy forward.

    "I don't want to be the one left behind."    If you have never watched the movie, "The Secret", I suggest you watch it, not once, but once each Sunday for the next 12 weeks.  I can't reveal all that it will tell you, but I do know that each viewing, reveals something more to yourself of what you want and don't want.

    One thing is to learn to get rid of all negative statements, or at least start concentrating on positive statements.   Forget about what you don't want.

    "I don't want to be left behind."    Read that, and read that again.....sounds so wimpy and no power to it....

    "I want in, I want to grow and be a part of something fun, energetic filled with smiles, laughter and great times, with great friends and great people.  My wife is part of that, and I want to be part of the good life, the fun life that we remember.  I can't bring back my youth again, but I CAN capture that feeling once again!"

    So in closing....Bigoman......here is your Big OMEN.   You are no longer a kid anymore.  You are a man.  Be a true man to yourself first of all.  Accept ALL responsibility for your past actions.  Learn and strive that you will be a better man each day.  Let your body know, each and every part of it, that you will not tolerate mediocrity anymore.   Tell your mouth....mouth, we NEED you to accept good food as you are the gateway that keeps our heart and lungs strong.   Tell your hands, Hands.....we NEED you to guide us to the good things in life that bring us joy, we need you to be the gaurdians that keep Mouth from consuming bad things.

    So time to grow, and be strong!   I hope and pray that my time and energy spent can reach your core.  It is up to you now to reach within yourself and find the guidance within.  We out here can help.  I hope you take the Body for Life book and read it from cover to cover many times.  In there you should find some inspiration.  I know I have and continue to constantly

    With the Speed of Love

    ~Marqui D.  C1W7D49

  • Marqui- That was WHEY COOL AWESOME!!! If that doesn't get him going, I don't know what will!! Fantastic post! :) :) :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Yeah,  I agree with Debbie...WHEY COOL AWESOME, but I can't read anymore of Marqui's posts, cause they make me cry like a baby.  Seriously, very nicely put Marqui!

    Julie (inVA)

  • Aww, Julie!! Don't cry!! :) How are you doing??

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Debbie,

    I am doing great!  Thanks for asking.  I am finishing my two weeks of A/R today!  TOMORROW STARTS C2!!  I am ready to go.  I lost a little over 4lbs on A/R.  So now I am down a little over 22lbs, having lost 18lbs in C1.  I am hoping I see a lot of changes in the lower body this time around!  Can't wait!  I have my first UBWO and LBWO planned on paper...and cardio on the treadmill will just be me trying to keep up with my last cardio of C1.  I'll see what I can do!  Ready, set, go!  Don't tell anyone, but I ate great on A/R, with one free day...and did NOTHING physical!!! Well, except for try to keep up with a few of my kids on the trampoline, and soccer in the yard!  I have really enjoyed A/R...but am really looking forward to C2.  As Debs always says, onward and upwards!!!

    What week/day are you in?  I am losing track.  Love that you posted your pics on the forum.  You look great.  All your hard work shows!   I do remember you have an insane schedule this spring with all the sports activities and coaching.  Sounds crazy.  How is that going?

    Well, see you next week!!  Julie (inVA)

  • Julie-I just finished week 4 of 2nd challenge. I was about like you in first challenge and AR, I lost 20 then another 5 during AR, just by eating pretty clean (well the habits were hard to break so it was very clean) and no workouts except WiiFit a couple of days.

    I'm focusing more on lb also, darn stubborn rear and thighs! lol!

    Yes, this spring was insane, but finished up vball tournaments last weekend, now about 3 weeks of track left and the end of school is near! Whoop! I won't know what to do with myself this summer!

    Have a kick a$$ workout tomorrow! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Debbie,

    Well, I probably shouldn't keep repeating myself, but you look incredible!  So very impressive.

    Rock your week 5 Debbie!!  I am going to rock week 1!!  Julie (inVA)

  • Thanks, Julie! I posted in hopes of inspiring someone...looks like it worked!! YOU WILL ROCK!!!

    Looking forward to your progress! :)

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • Marqui D.

    I want to begin by thanking you for your words, and for having reflected on them wisely as you did. For everything you wrote was correct. My whole life I have Cowboy'd Up, but for this time. I really don't know what possessed me to write such a sappy blog, but no time for excuses and looking back. I know i can do it and i will most certainly do so, so thank you and God Bless you.

  • BigOman ,  was thinking about you in church yesterday too.  I am glad for marqui's post as I am not as well spoken.  Go for it brother!!!  jill

  • BigOman,

    Sometimes the one thing that holds us back is fear.  Whether it be fear of success, fear of loss, fear of the unknown.  You must make this decision and do this for YOU.  Think about how much more confident you will be when you start "bringing sexy back".  

    Now go do it.

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory