Does anyone here suffer from start again syndrome

  • Or basically find it difficult to stick to deadlines? Everyone misses the odd workout or meal or eat something they shouldnt on a non freeday on occasion  but when it happens to me I get this irrational feeling that the whole thing is ruined and I need to start again and that start again date  is maybe a few days to a week down the line so in the meantime I go off the program completely and eat crap, I started again yesterday so I want to make sure it doesnt happen again?

  • 6pac - I have just gone back several pages just kinda cruising around seeing if there was something I missed that maybe I could help with, or get guidance for myself with. Your name caught my eye a few times. (its catchy - radiates a dream and a goal to me) ANYWAYS, I just wanted to say, in my humble opinion that maybe, just maybe....you need to be more honest with yourself. You have the food down pat and you know of the expectations. You are well read and seem to be quite up on the whole fitness thing to me.

    Life will get in your way no matter what date you start. Its 84 days! Nobody has a life without SOME kind of curve ball thrown into it. (thats for you Ray, Pam and Renee) If you continue to restart, there will not be a finish for you my friend. And honestly that makes me sad. I am in week 7 of my third challenge. My first challenge went quite well, my second challenge was a gong show with LIFE and very mental for me. This challenge is a bit of both, but leaning to the good side.

    Back in one of your posts, you said you have a fair amount of weight you want to lose. I understand from being overweight myself, that sometimes, that weight is a safety net. It is who we have been for some time and we cant wrap our heads around what could be....we have an idea and a dream, a desire and the brains to know we should be more fit, but it just seems to be so far down the road, and we are afraid to take that first perfect step and then two....and then more. No one is making us - why do it.

    ANYWAYS, I am rambling, and not to point a finger at you my friend, but to others that may be feeling the same. You will not be the first to lose scale weight exceeding 20# and you wont be the last. But my hope for you is that YOU BE ONE OF THEM.

    Take your time to regroup, and come back on fire. When you feel the flame is getting low - count on us to throw a little fuel onto you and get that butt back in the game.

    Strength to you - mental and physical....power up!

    Unedited and said with heart on sleeve. :)

  • 6 pack:  

    I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from!!

    I am on A/R.  Just ate dinner, and am still hungry.  Actually, strike that.  I am not really hungry.  I am full, but not satisfied.  There is a difference, isn't there?  I was looking into the fridge, thinking I am on A/R....I could eat.  But I got on the forum looking for some inspiration, and this is the first forum I stumbled across.  

    I am notorious for starting a diet, and then when I cheat, I just throw in the towel and dive into everything I can find, pigging out for days or weeks on end.  I just lost 18 pounds on C1, then two more in the first week of A/R.  Then I took a free day Sunday, and I am really struggling mentally now.  What the heck is wrong with me?  I wish I had an answer for "why" we do this to sabotage ourselves, but I don't.  I think Legs is right about the perfectionist angle.  If the challenge isn't "perfect", then we sabotage ourselves.  It is very frustrating, I know.  I am right there with you.  Hang in there, because even an imperfect challenge is far better than not completing it!  Do your 84 days, even if it is an imperfect 84 days, and just see how great you feel!  

    What week are you in?  I am going to start C2 next week...I think!!!  I gotta get my head on straight too!

    Julie (in VA)

    P.S.  Legs, you rock, lady.

  • Wow Legs thanks for that post....I can feel the energy behind that one!

    6pack - Don't beat yourself up....it took me 9 years to finally do a real challenge.  But re-read the initial letter that  you wrote to yourself in the beginning.   IF there is a big enough "why" then you'll find a way.  They key is honesty with yourself

    So I've said it in other posts, and I just took out again my two page letter to myself when I started

    A quote from my letter, "I am ready -I'm crying because I've never been so scared in my life.  I know that when I complete this, it's going to change everything.  That's what I want.  I want to know what my best is, trapped deep inside me."

    So I encourage you to look in the mirror, stare into your own eyes, and ask yourself, "Is this My Best?" ask yourself again and again until you can feel the fire.  Sometimes you'll cry and sometimes, you'll get mad, but I promise you, stick with this and when those twelve weeks go, you'll know who you are.

    Tomorrow is LBWO - and I am going to push it for you.  I am going to look in the mirror and ask myself is this my best!

    ~Marqui D.   C1W7D44

  • I understand am in the same spot as we speak. I did this once before and went from 240lbs down to 167lbs. Well after 2 hernia surgeries and 2 knee surgeries I am back up there only  now I am at 250lbs. I am trying to do it and know that I can but I feel as though I am using my knee as an excuse and my time schedule. I loved to work out in the mornings and felt more of the weight come off. Now my work has me yo yoing from day to day as to when I am to be in. I have to be to work at 5am on Monday and Tuesday then 6am on Wednesday then 7:30am on Thursday and Friday.

    I hate the way I look and feel and most of all I work with mostly Hispanic people and they call me "gordo" which I have recently found out translates into "fatso". I am trying to do my best but sometimes when I get home I am so physically drained because I am on my feet for 10 hours a day. The only time I really get to sit down is when something goes wrong or on breaks or lunch. Other than that I am standing and kind of walking for 10 hours.

    I have to dig down deep and find my groove again to get out of this hole that I have dug for myself the past 8 years. So if you have any words of encouragement let me know.

  • Don't start again...don't stop! Love yourself enough to keep this promise to yourself. You wouldn't let anyone else down...why would you even consider letting yourself down? You are the most important person ever. One day at a time. Today is your day. Turn every negative whisper into a positive affirmation. Seriously! Do not allow negative thoughts in ever. Do not hope that you will finish the challenge...KNOW THAT YOU WILL FINISH THE CHALLENGE! Stick around here and you will be uplifted daily. You must remember that the folks on this site have been where your head is at. Physically, everyone is at a different level. However, we all have been throught the same mental struggles. The mental challenges are the most powerful and rewarding to overcome. Then, you will overcome your physical challenges. Focus on the solution...not the problem!

    I WILL SEE YOU AT THE FINISH LINE! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT! "I WILL FINISH AND I WILL BE VICTORIOUS!" Ahhhhhh...that is beautiful music :-)

    Keep the faith!

    Faithful Renee :0)

  • Thanks for those responses, I see that alot time time went into them and I thank you.

    I suppose the most important chapters in the book are not the ones about exerccise or training because when you have that down thats it you dont really need to focus on it as much but aspects of the book that take a while to sink in are

    1.Crossing the abyss

    2.Focus on Progress not perfection

    3.Set a deadline and Promise yourself you will not quit

    Anyway on to day 3

  • My heart is happy from your message 6 pac, and fa(t)bulous boy because I sense a wee bit of grit and determination is starting to take root. Dig in those heels and put your days of BFL in a row.

    MarquiD said she/he had tears because of the end of the challenge she/he would change everything. Bang on! 12 weeks of gifting to yourself IS life changing. I for one would love to see you both finish your challenges - perfectly, imperfectly...but finished. I am confident you will give each day new energy and not focus on the problem, but work on the solution. (nice Renee). AND you are very right in thinking this is alot of mental...if you get your brain in the right place, your body just follows.

    Im here for you always. :)

  • This from Bill from day 32 in my Success Journal:

    "Today I want to share something that I would like you to keep in mind:  No one is perfect.  We all make mistakes.  Therefore, no one can follow the Body-for-Life Program "perfectly."  Even I miss workouts and meals from time to time, and even my plans sometimes get interrupted by traffic jams, delayed airline flights, meetings that take longer than expected, and even over-sleeping.  But those things are the exception, not the rule.  Most of the time, I eat six nutritious protein and carbohydrate-balanced meals a day.  Most of the time, I exercise intensely, first thing in the morning.  Most of the time, I keep a positive mindset and am optimistic.  And most of the time, I feel healthy and energetic.  Remember, it's what we do most of the time that shapes us, not what we do some of the time.  So, don't worry if you're not "perfect.""

  • Has anyone ever seen the show "Buff Brides"?  I have seen it once or twice.  Its a reality show about brides who want to get in shape for their big day.  The part that stands out in my mind the most is when they go over their daily eating plan.  It does not look that terrible, like snacking on a few apps or having cocktails almost every night.  In fact, the brides are not extremely overweight, but could stand to loose 12 - 20 lbs.  Anyway, they put their picture on a computer and then show them what they will look like in a year if they keep eating and living the way they do.  It was not good.  Slowly but surely they would keep getting bigger and softer.  I also believe that the changes we make for the good, even with slips and misses will still work to our advantage.  Its nice to know that big changes can be made in 12 weeks as we have seen from other challengers, but just get back on the horse if you fall and keep going.  We have to look at this as someplace we want to go!

  • I started and quit twice before this challenge.  I started a challenge last spring and made it to about week 4 and summer creeped up and I quit.  I still my did cardio and kept myself to the point I didn't hate the way I looked (but wasn't happy either).  Then I gained 15lbs over the winter and started on January 1st and quit on week 4 and felt I had slipped too much to be successful and quit.   This challenge started March 1st with the sole goal that I will finish the challenge.  I need to prove to myself that I am strong enough to do this.  A good friend of mine who is a big advocate of this program said something to me that really kicked me in the ass.  She said something along the line of "As long as I keep accepting good enough I will never know how great I can be".   I've kept that with me and every time I felt like eating that donut (or whatever happened to be floating around this office) I tell my self I will not settle for good enough anymore.    I've made it to week 8 and I'm more motivated than I've ever been.  Somewhere along the line just finishing wasn't good enough anymore....I'm going to finish GREAT!

    Hang in there.  You have to finish it even if just to prove to yourself that you can!   Good luck!!

  • 6packmission that comes from perfectionism.  I used to struggle with "well I ate a bad meal so I threw the whole day away".  

    My true turning point came when I acknowledged two things...one I was doing that and two that I didn't want to spend a lifetime doing that.  No one is perfect.  There may be some that have "perfect challenges", but in life there will be events and gatherings that will pull you off task from a meal from time to time.  

    Consistently getting back on track is what made the biggest difference for me.  No wallowing in my own foul ups, just acknowledging them and looking in to the reasons behind what I chose to do.

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right ~ Henry Ford

    Michelle Simpson ~2009 Body-for-LIFE Champion 46+ Catagory

  • I don't know what the original post was but from someone who has been "there", i can tell you that breaking free from the mentality (speaking for myself)  that if i can't do it right/perfect every single time then i am a failure - except i used to use the word loser for myself - has brought me so much freedom.  I have to remember, as we all do, that we are important, as important as our children are or our family, when someone we care about tries and does not succeed we are so quick to give them the support and encouragement they need yet we fail to do this for ourselves and we are so much more important than anyone else because if we are not taking care of ourselves how can we effectively take care of anyone else.  Is it hard to be our own Rah Rah section OH BUDDY is it. . . . . . .  BUT J if we can just use those same words on ourselves:

    *You have done such a great job I know you can do it!
    *Great job, your effort has been terrific, I know this was a bad *you fill in the blank* but you have come so far, shake off the dust and get back out there because I have faith in you and I know you can do it!
    *I have faith in you, look how far you have come – the next 5 minutes are all brand new, what do you want to do with them?
    *You are a great person!
    *I am so proud of you!

    And the list goes on and on.

    We sooooo need to remember to cut ourselves the same amount of “slack” that we would give anyone else who was in need of some love, understanding, encouragement and support because we ARE that IMPORTANT!!!!

    Remember you are all loved, encouraged, supported and thought of – and that is the truth……………smile, shake the dust off, remember your goals and what got you this far………and get back into your game – YOU CAN DO IT.

     

     

    Cory
    Life IS Good
    Not in BFL challenge currently

  • I haven't read everyone's input here but the one thing I try to remember about starting over is this...do you really need to?  Isn't the goal to finish?  No one has a perfect challenge (or should I say most people do not).  Think about it.  Don’t become one who is constantly starting over and ends up spinning their wheels and not making it to week 12.  It's sort of like a gerbil on a wheel,  running in place but not getting anywhere. :-)  Just get it done, you can always do another challenge, start to finish. :-)

    Love you some you...PERSEVERE!

  • oooo I really like that Marqui D!!!  I am definitly going to use that one in the mirror!

    KellynCA

    Failure is not an option!