I am so scared

  • I started BFL on Monday and I have been eating well and working out. I am learning where my tens are and they are considerably higher than I thought they would be.

    I have to admit though that I was doing calves today and got a glimpse in the mirror and got so discouraged. I sat there overweight and unsure if I am even doing the exercises right and I was surrounded by very fit people. I felt very frustrated leaving the gym.

    I am determined to finish this and I am determined to lose these 30 pounds for good. I realize though that as I press hard in my work outs i am constantly having to tune out the voices in my head that say I don't belong at the gym and that I can't lose this weight.

    Anybody else deal with this? Anybody have any advice for telling those voices to shut up?

    I feel like I just need a friend to tell me I CAN do this.

  • Well here I am fiercelydriven :0)

    You can do this girl and there are lots of people here who will support you every step of the way. I used to really suffer with the negative voices in my head but something a friend who works in Neuro Lingistic programme told me to do really helped stop the habit. Put an elastic band around your wrist for the next couple of weeks and everytime you find yourself thinking negatively ping it - hard and then replace the negative thought with a positive one.

    Over time your brain comes to associate thinking negatively with pain and surprisingly or not you'll find yourself doing it less often.

    Make sure you stay on the boards as you need to be on here to get the support.

    Keep at it

    Sian x

    "The future will be made up of the present. By taking good care of the present, we take good care of the future." Thich Nhat Hanh

  • Have a read over this article as well


    "The future will be made up of the present. By taking good care of the present, we take good care of the future." Thich Nhat Hanh

  • Hi Fiercelydriven,

    I have felt that way too. Like, what am I doing here??? But you know what? Those people got fit(or stay fit) somehow. They go to the gym and work out. It's what fit people do, and you are on your way. We all have to start somewhere! And just think of the day that some lady comes to the gym and see you, looking all hot and expert-like. You wouldn't want her to feel bad, get discouraged and quit, would you??? No! You would want to motivate her, you'd want her to know that with hard work and determination, she could look like that too! Now go back to that gym and show them what you are made of! You are just beginning your journey, and 12 weeks from now, you are going to be an old pro!

  • Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am going to get a rubber band on my wrist today! That is great!

    I will keep my eyes focused on 12 weeks from now.

  • I remember the first time I got a physicl trainer and he put my big fat 220 lb butt in front of a mirror to do clea squats. Thats the first time i looked at myself totally disgusted and realized where i was in my life. It was a major turning point for me. I could not afford him any more and found BFL. that was over 5 years ago. I do about 1-2 challenges a year to keep me focused but i look in the mirror now at at 125 lb fit woman and i am so proud for that wake up call. is this yours??? make it yours!!!!

    you dont have near as far as i did to go so you will be there in no time. if you cant get there in 12 weeks maybe its 24?? but you will always have a good structured plan with BFL to keep you focused.

    you go girl!

  • FiercelyDriven,

    You can do this!  Those voices in your head are exactly what you think they are...they are fear.  They are your old self knowing that getting healthy is going to come with the discomfort of exercise and discipline to a healthy nutrition plan.

    Here's the plan for winning...every single rep you do or step you take with treadmill or elliptical machine will defeat the voice.  Every single time you lie in bed knowing that you ate totally clean that day will defeat the voice.  The voice will soon be giving you different messages.  I can work harder, I can get fitter and I have the discipline to make a better me.

    You see the outer transformation of fat loss is only part of this plan.  If you stay true to yourself and your goals you will have an inner transformation that gives you more confidence.  

    I just finished my first 12 weeks today and I truly feel there is no challenge I can't win.  Give yourself the gift of trying and being successful.  Let your fear take a break and feel the freedom of "I CAN."

    My best wishes for health, happiness and discipline to you.


  • Fiercely,

    If it helps, when I see people at the gym that are really overweight, I admire and repsect them for being there and trying.

    I know it can be intimidating even for me who is now  in shape so I always think how much worse that feeling must be for someone getting started.

    I respect and admire them for being there and trying and not just sitting at home wallowing in pity.

    As Trying Hard said, everyone has to start somewhere and even fit people have to keep going.  It is what we all have to do to stay fit and healthy.

    You can do it.

  • fiercelydriven...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

    Keep coming back to the forums, read the threads, get to know people, look at their pictures and get those faces and voices in your head!! That is what sooooo helped me in Challenge 1, when things got tough, I saw those faces and heard those voices encouraging me on...I finish C2 next Saturday and without those faces and voices, I never would have got to where I am today...

    So Act Your Way To Better Thinking...Walk Through Your Life With Purpose cause YOU are worth it!!!!

    Go Get em Girl!!!

    DebMO :0)           Blessed to be a Blessing...

  • I see all sorts of people at my gym.  Some people are healthier than me and some are much more unhealthier than me.  The healthy ones I think "Man, I cannot wait until I look like that".  The unhealthy ones I think, "Awesome for them to show up and try to make a change in their life".  My point is, people aren't thinking negative things about you when you are working out no matter how out of shape you are.  I am sure most are just thinking that it is awesome you are trying to change your life.  Everyone has been out of shape at some point in their life.  They know the battle it takes to be in great shape and can appreciate how much more of a battle it can be for those who have even farther to go.  

    If you are new to working out, especially lifting weights, I would talk to people who are experienced to make sure you are doing the exercise correctly and effectively.  Sometimes its not just the motion of the exercise that is important, but also the muscular focus of the exercise.  Meaning, it is possible to concentrate on the muscle group in your motions to make your exercise more effective.  

  • And remember... just about every single person there is only thinking about THEMSELVES just like we are anyways :)